Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Monthly Archives: March 2015
Run, you peckerwood
Can’t get started on your Great American novel? Don’t despair because A.) It probably won’t be any good anyway. B.) It will never get published and C.) It probably won’t be any good anyway. Still, to avoid writer’s block when … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged fromage, funny, lobotomy, mezzanine, satire, woodpecker
6 Comments
Wake up and smell
Saw a movie the other night where Denzel Washington demanded kidnappers give him Proof of Life that the person he was trying to ransom was still alive. Still alive. Or as Monty Python would have it “Not quite dead yet.” … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged cremation, doobie, foo foo, funny, humor, satire
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The duck commander
While waiting at a stop sign for further instructions, I started thinking about the presumptions made by the boys and girls down at the highway department. When they decide what goes on a highway sign they presume that we—the un-neutered, … Continue reading
1955 green linoleum
The New York Times interviewed me for a feature on novelists who are unpublished because they aren’t tall. Or, in some cases, because they are too tall. I agreed on the off chance a publisher might see it and say … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, linoleum, Moby Dicked, satire, Spanish Inquisition, Stendahl
6 Comments
a hint of light 