Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: funny
The rats are dead
So. I went down to the Social Media Blackmarket to procure some followers. As a blogger, I want lots of followers for the simple reason that if you have, say, just two followers and one of them is make-believe, it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, followers, funny, peeps, rats, satire, zany, Zunar
Leave a comment
The penguin incident
I sat in the Washington office of Dr. Holler B. Snowbody, the Third Junior Deputy Deputy Undersecretary in the Department of Homeland Frisking, Risk Assessment Division, Penguins. I was on assignment for Big Beak (the magazine of birds with big beaks) … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, Lutefisk, penguin, satire, Tiki, zany
2 Comments
Jiggling my grandmother
Sometimes, I get anxious. Ironically, the condition is called anxiety. I got it one day when I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in. I was pretty wired so they took me right away and later … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bouncy, Daffy, Earl Scruggs, funny, Pete Seeger, satire, zany
7 Comments
If you know what I mean
K-Mac bought a wrought iron clock with those old-fashioned, black serpentine hour and minute hands for our family room. I think it’s important to note up front that I, the man in the relationship, was not consulted. It is a … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, fradderack, funny, interruptus, irony, K-Mac, satire, wrought iron, zany
4 Comments
My beautiful head
In the summertime (i.e. summertime, summertime, sum sum summertime), your trendier fake news publications often wheel out their squeaky cart of dust-covered free books sent by desperate, dust-covered fake publishers in hopes of making somebody’s — anybody’s — list of … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, satire, zany
3 Comments
Blotting out the sun
I know a guy named Al whose assigned duties include doing the dishes after dinner. (Stay with me, it gets better.) The other night, as usual, Al stacked plates in the dishwasher while ambidextrously whistling the Woody Woodpecker song. All … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, bogwort, funny, plastic, pluperfect, satire, zany
4 Comments
Keep the line moving
Q. Why are we here? A. That depends on your we. Do you mean the ‘You and me we’ or the ‘We, the peeps’ we? Q. Peeps? Those horrible yellow marshmallow chickens? What do they have to do with anything? … Continue reading
