Tag Archives: funny

Large-fruit paranoia

Into the tire shop, then, to pick up his car with its freshly rotated tires. He waits in the showroom, surrounded by hundreds of gleaming black tires hanging from the walls or poised in garish cardboard floor displays. The place … Continue reading

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Do they think we are stupid?

They want you to believe that the world is round and not flat for one simple reason: The world actually is flat, as more and more people here at the rubber plantation are beginning to find out. Look,  when tens … Continue reading

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That is gross, man

Got a new dish-washing scrub brush, and boys, it is a beaut. It’s snub nosed, comes with a shoulder holster and fits my fist like a set of brass knuckles. We’re talking heft and the kind of authority any prison … Continue reading

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Drinking Manhattans

People – usually men people — often ask me “When am I too old to float my boats in the tub?” Some will tell me their mother or their wife, or both of them together will say that any age … Continue reading

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The rats are dead

So. I went down to the Social Media Blackmarket to procure some followers. As a blogger, I want lots of followers for the simple reason that if you have, say, just two followers and one of them is make-believe, it … Continue reading

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The penguin incident

I sat in the Washington office of Dr. Holler B. Snowbody, the Third Junior Deputy Deputy Undersecretary in the Department of Homeland Frisking, Risk Assessment Division, Penguins. I was on assignment for Big Beak (the magazine of birds with big beaks) … Continue reading

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Jiggling my grandmother

Sometimes, I get anxious. Ironically, the condition is called anxiety. I got it one day when I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in. I was pretty wired so they took me right away and later … Continue reading

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