Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: funny
A cheap novel
Friends, I am finding it difficult, if not impossible, to attempt to be funny or silly (don’t even think funny and silly) at such a deadly, unfunny period in our American experience. Out there, madness is blooming and being watered … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, f---, funny, K-Mac, mooses, Protestants, satire, zany
2 Comments
Train of fools
This is going to sound crazy, I know, but before you judge me, remember: things that sound crazy often started out as things that didn’t sound crazy, just preposterous or stupid. Or hey, maybe even crazy good, like chocolate chip … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, poker, satire, stink bug, Trotsky. Aretha, zany
2 Comments
Roundheads
I’ve been thinking lately that Pythagoras, Aristotle and Sister Mary Funeral were wrong about the world being round. Given my storied C– education, my abundant savoir faire and an overall jive that makes women — just ask K-Mac* – weep … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humility, K-Mac, relish, satire, Shaq, zany
2 Comments
Enemy of the peeps
Q. How long have you been an enemy of the people? A. Just a few days. Ever since the Hair Master labeled the news media “The enemy of the people.” But, in fact, I’ve been a reporter since way back … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, electrical college, funny, Hair Master, news media, satire, zany
4 Comments
Nopeski
So, I was sitting there in my official thinking mode when suddenly I’m thinking two thoughts simultaneously at once. It’s a premium feature I opted for the last time I had my thinking mode in for an oil change. (What … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Blatz, funny, mindbender, moosehood, nopeski, satire, zany
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Banjo tuner’s nightmare
Banjo tuner: Sorry I’m late for the tuning. Banjo tunee: I thought it was tomorrow. Banjo tuner: I have it marked down for today. Banjo tunee: Well, on my Smart Calendar it’s written in for tomorrow. Banjo tuner: Yes, but … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, frog, funny, ribit, satire, tea cozy, zany
1 Comment
Oh no
I was doing the dishes after supper — doing an outstanding job by the way — when K-Mac asked “Where did you learn to wash dishes?” “I’m self taught,” I replied, using a steak knife like an ice pick to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, auto-didact, funny, Grant's tomb, Haiku, K-Mac, oh, satire, zany
3 Comments
