Tag Archives: funny

If you know what I mean

K-Mac bought a wrought iron clock with those old-fashioned, black serpentine hour and minute hands for our family room.  I think it’s important to note up front that I, the man in the relationship, was not consulted. It is a … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My beautiful head

In the summertime (i.e. summertime, summertime, sum sum summertime), your trendier fake news publications often wheel out their squeaky cart of dust-covered free books sent by desperate, dust-covered fake publishers in hopes of making somebody’s — anybody’s — list of … Continue reading

Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Blotting out the sun

I know a guy named Al whose assigned duties include doing the dishes after dinner. (Stay with me, it gets better.) The other night, as usual, Al stacked plates in the dishwasher while ambidextrously whistling the Woody Woodpecker song. All … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Keep the line moving

Q. Why are we here? A. That depends on your we. Do you mean the ‘You and me we’ or the ‘We, the peeps’ we? Q. Peeps? Those horrible yellow marshmallow chickens? What do they have to do with anything? … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q. | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Four guys with Uzis

Q. Hello. Ray, here, at Paranoia Check where we say to the unzipped, the unglued, the madly awry, your crackers, your nuts, your bananas deep-fried: “If you see something, say something.” And remember: the If is always optional. A. Hello. … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Running downhill in the dark

I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading

Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

One strike away

Have you ever started to sing “Somewhere, over the rainbow” but forgot what comes after the? Have you ever started to blow your nose but weren’t paying enough attention because you were reading the New York Times on your device … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments