Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: funny
Four guys with Uzis
Q. Hello. Ray, here, at Paranoia Check where we say to the unzipped, the unglued, the madly awry, your crackers, your nuts, your bananas deep-fried: “If you see something, say something.” And remember: the If is always optional. A. Hello. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, exactamundo, funny, paranoia, satire, whack job, zany
1 Comment
Running downhill in the dark
I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading
Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, hashtag, K-Mac, no-brainer, satire, zany
13 Comments
One strike away
Have you ever started to sing “Somewhere, over the rainbow” but forgot what comes after the? Have you ever started to blow your nose but weren’t paying enough attention because you were reading the New York Times on your device … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Chiquita, funny, life, Nebuchadanezzer, satire, Snake Glo, zany
3 Comments
A cheap novel
Friends, I am finding it difficult, if not impossible, to attempt to be funny or silly (don’t even think funny and silly) at such a deadly, unfunny period in our American experience. Out there, madness is blooming and being watered … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, f---, funny, K-Mac, mooses, Protestants, satire, zany
2 Comments
Train of fools
This is going to sound crazy, I know, but before you judge me, remember: things that sound crazy often started out as things that didn’t sound crazy, just preposterous or stupid. Or hey, maybe even crazy good, like chocolate chip … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, poker, satire, stink bug, Trotsky. Aretha, zany
2 Comments
Roundheads
I’ve been thinking lately that Pythagoras, Aristotle and Sister Mary Funeral were wrong about the world being round. Given my storied C– education, my abundant savoir faire and an overall jive that makes women — just ask K-Mac* – weep … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humility, K-Mac, relish, satire, Shaq, zany
2 Comments
Enemy of the peeps
Q. How long have you been an enemy of the people? A. Just a few days. Ever since the Hair Master labeled the news media “The enemy of the people.” But, in fact, I’ve been a reporter since way back … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, electrical college, funny, Hair Master, news media, satire, zany
4 Comments
