Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: Nuggets
The Parsippany cutoff
One of the hazards of staffing a Frequently Asked Questions booth is that all too frequently the questions come with such lack of (i.e., im) becility that many of our volunteers suffer breakdowns, some of them automotive in nature, others … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, gawumpie, humor, Nuggets, satire, trapezoid, zany
7 Comments
Loose screws
When I awoke this morning, I glanced at the sports page and discovered I am still mathematically alive. I went to have my blood drawn. The artist on duty suggested water colors because she likes the way they bleed. Out … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, dead horse, funny, Nuggets, satire, snout, whoopie cakes, zany
6 Comments
The mystery of the wet snout
With these few words I bring to a close the short series of sketches I have called “Nuggets I picked up from my dog.” My obtuse thinking about the mysteries of life while shadowing the late Coffee J. Dogg over … Continue reading
He knew it and he knew I knew he knew it.
No. 21 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. Once upon a time, Coffee J. Dogg was a used hound in need of a new life. By happenstance I was a … Continue reading
The Panama Limited (Very)
No. 20 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. I am summoned from my bed by a dreadful keening, a low moaning sound that rises gradually to a howl, like an … Continue reading
Snouting the riddle of time
No. 19 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired by walks with my late dog, Coffee. As he was leaving, the guy who came to fix my computer looked down at the beast stretched out on the … Continue reading
Caving to the inner dork
No. 18 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. One of the first things a carefree boy casts aside after his bone-cracking, overnight morph into self-conscious teenhood is a hat. … Continue reading
a hint of light 