Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: anxiety
The inner chatter
Q. I can’t fall asleep at night. What’s up with that? A. Maybe you’re overtired. Q. What the hell does that mean? A. Sounds like Mr. Grumpy is overtired. Q. How can I be overtired and not be able to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, anxiety, 睡觉的人, funny, Planet Nine, satire, Tu t'es moqué de moi, zany
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Banjo tuner’s nightmare
Banjo tuner: Sorry I’m late for the tuning. Banjo tunee: I thought it was tomorrow. Banjo tuner: I have it marked down for today. Banjo tunee: Well, on my Smart Calendar it’s written in for tomorrow. Banjo tuner: Yes, but … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, frog, funny, ribit, satire, tea cozy, zany
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Don’t do that, you idiot
Just as those with whooping cough tend to whoop it up a lot, and those with erectile dysfunction cannot whoop it up one little bit, those who suffer from the angst of anxiety are often very anxious. But while the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, funny, humor, pooping, satire, whooping
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It takes a worried (i.e., certifiable) man
As I sit on the sun-warmed dock at this vacation lake deep in the North Woods to the north, I struggle with mixed feelings: In a way, I feel as cool as yesterday’s gazpacho, as mellow as wet cement, as … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany
Tagged absurd, anxiety, funny, K-Mac, North Woods, satire, St. Krakatonius, zany
1 Comment
Garbage in, garbage out
Is there anything more shaming than to set out your trash cans in the morning and then to come home at night and see that your cans are still full, but all of the neighbor’s cans have been emptied? In … Continue reading
Hornblower in the Prius
In the middle of the oatmeal, a muffled bleeping from the outside world disrupts the calm at the breakfast table. “What’s that?” he demands in Minuteman alert mode. “Sounds like somebody’s car horn,” she says without care or concern or … Continue reading
a hint of light 