Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: banjo
The written test-19
This coronavirus written test is for those too squeamish to have a goal post stuck up their noses and twirled like a swizzle stick. (That’s right, some people have more than one nose. Your point?) In 500 words or less, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, Covid-19, funny, nostril insurance, satire, zany
8 Comments
Pearls before dopes
Note: If reading these haiku1 aloud, try ending each with the word “Grasshopper.” Or not. (Presence of actual grasshopper not necessary.) Pilgrim’s Lack of Progress Once there was no hate only love to soothe the souls of those who had … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, banjo, butt dialing, Dude, mixed nuts, satire, wisdom, zany
2 Comments
Do they think we are stupid?
They want you to believe that the world is round and not flat for one simple reason: The world actually is flat, as more and more people here at the rubber plantation are beginning to find out. Look, when tens … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, Brussels sprouts, funny, global warming, prickly heat, satire, ukulele, zany
13 Comments
Blotting out the sun
I know a guy named Al whose assigned duties include doing the dishes after dinner. (Stay with me, it gets better.) The other night, as usual, Al stacked plates in the dishwasher while ambidextrously whistling the Woody Woodpecker song. All … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, bogwort, funny, plastic, pluperfect, satire, zany
4 Comments
The Parsippany cutoff
One of the hazards of staffing a Frequently Asked Questions booth is that all too frequently the questions come with such lack of (i.e., im) becility that many of our volunteers suffer breakdowns, some of them automotive in nature, others … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, gawumpie, humor, Nuggets, satire, trapezoid, zany
7 Comments
Ask a bluesman
Q. I think I have the blues, but my doctor says it’s just irritable bowel syndrome. A. Is your doctor a bluesman? Q. He’s a gastroenterologist. A. You mean an ologist who enters your gastro works? Q. Not in the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, Biwabik, blues, funny, humor, satire, stink bug, zany
4 Comments
Questions that bother me so.*
So. Here’s a question. So, why do so many people, from age zero, up to but not including age geezer, begin every comment, every question, every answer to every question with the word so? So. See? So. No seeum. So. … Continue reading
a hint of light 