Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
- Follow a hint of light on WordPress.com
Hintsabsurd anxiety app asshat Balenciaga balls banjo baseball bears bluegrass bulges butt Camus Canada commas cremation dogs dreams duck commander F-bomb F.A.Q. false nose farouk foo foo football frog funny gawumpie Gettysburg gluten Grant's tomb gravity Haiku humor IBS idiot igalixpoo irony Jiminy Cricket K-Mac Katherine Last Supper Latin life lobotomy Mars metaphysics monetize Mr. Peanut Nuggets parody Pete's sake Plato poop redacted religious satire sausage schneid Secret Service Spanish Inquisition St. Paul stinkbad stink bug story tacos The Donald toad Tom Wolfe walleye White House wisdom writing Zamboni zany
Tag Archives: F.A.Q.
Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading
Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading
(Due to previous commitments, the part of A. is played today by his understudy, B.) Q. What’s the deal? B. Seven card stud. Two down, one up. Ante’s a buck. Two raises, max. And nothing, I repeat, nothing is wild. … Continue reading
Q. I hear people saying we should take an abundance of cotton. What does that mean? A. You’re hearing it wrong. It’s an abundance of caution. Q. Is that like saying you want a toss salad, when you really mean … Continue reading
Q. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with mental health. Is it contagious? A. You tell me. Recently, scientists put laboratory mice with mental health into a cage with mice who were crazy about bluegrass. After an hour, … Continue reading
Q. What’s up with that? A. Which that is that? Q. That that. A. Excuse me, it almost sounded like you said that that. Q. Yes, I said that. A. You mean that that. Q. I mean that that what? … Continue reading