Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: wisdom
You may feel a little pinch
Have you ever tried to walk a mile in somebody’s shoes and then got arrested for shoe theft? Have you ever tried to follow the guidelines to life in the Good Book, like killing the fatted calf when your prodigal … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Dentists, nose hair, sand hanitizer, wisdom, zip it
2 Comments
Chisel-headed communist
I was signing into some website and it asked for my password. I admit I am one of those complete and troublesome idiots who can never remember any of the 1,271 passwords for my 1,271 most important websites. Over the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, chagrin, doozy, humor, satire, wisdom, zany
3 Comments
Pearls before dopes
Note: If reading these haiku1 aloud, try ending each with the word “Grasshopper.” Or not. (Presence of actual grasshopper not necessary.) Pilgrim’s Lack of Progress Once there was no hate only love to soothe the souls of those who had … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, banjo, butt dialing, Dude, mixed nuts, satire, wisdom, zany
2 Comments
Quoting the Spearman
Q. Right. I’ll say something and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Then, I’ll say something else and you give me your first thought and so on and so forth, yada yada yada, yabba yabba do, boom … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, henchman, meddlesome, satire, Spearman, wisdom, zany
4 Comments
Would it kill you?
Read an interesting article in the latest copy of “Interesting Articles and Ammo” magazine. A woman in Davenport, Iowa was vacuuming the living room carpet when she came up against her husband, seated in his chair, reading “Interesting Articles and … Continue reading
Posted in funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bosom, davenport, depraved, LeBron, Maraschino, satire, wisdom, zany
5 Comments
Larry’s Corolla
Spoiler alert: this article contains the answer to an unsolved mystery of science. Please avert your eyes while reading so you don’t give anything away to your Walter ego. Have you ever wondered why there is matter in the universe, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, anti-matter, humor, irony, pi, satire, wisdom, zany
6 Comments
Another man’s or
Our most frequently asked question of the universe-at-large (remembering to use our inside voice) is a simple one: Is there or isn’t there? Put more simply, in the universal language of the chainsaw-wielding prophet of the street — he of … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, doo doo, gravity, humor, satire, wisdom, zany
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a hint of light 