Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
A cheap novel
Friends, I am finding it difficult, if not impossible, to attempt to be funny or silly (don’t even think funny and silly) at such a deadly, unfunny period in our American experience. Out there, madness is blooming and being watered … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, f---, funny, K-Mac, mooses, Protestants, satire, zany
2 Comments
FAQ: Without a doubt
Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Baloney, doubt, F.A.Q., fake, satire, sneeze, zany
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A little secret
Have you ever found yourself running down the dream and suddenly realized you’d lost your self-awareness? The answer is no, because, if so, you’d be self-aware and already know you’d lost it. See how that works? (The key there is … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, art, death sucks, deindividuation, Guelph, life sucks, satire, suck, zany
2 Comments
Full disclosure
Are you a denier? If you’re not a denier and someone says you’re a denier and you deny it, does your lobotomy scar start to throb? Is it possible you’re in denial? Is it even possible you’ve misspelled your way … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bears, gluten, humor, idiot, satire, X-files, zany
4 Comments
Train of fools
This is going to sound crazy, I know, but before you judge me, remember: things that sound crazy often started out as things that didn’t sound crazy, just preposterous or stupid. Or hey, maybe even crazy good, like chocolate chip … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, poker, satire, stink bug, Trotsky. Aretha, zany
2 Comments
Roundheads
I’ve been thinking lately that Pythagoras, Aristotle and Sister Mary Funeral were wrong about the world being round. Given my storied C– education, my abundant savoir faire and an overall jive that makes women — just ask K-Mac* – weep … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humility, K-Mac, relish, satire, Shaq, zany
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