Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: baseball
Baseball pomes
Catcher in the rye Pitcher in the succotash Action in the pen Grounder to shortstop: “Here I come a-bounding, dude. Catch me if you can.” Shortstop shakes his head, Gloves it on the hop and thinks “Some balls talk too … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, baseball, nihil obstat, satire, zany
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Smelling the end zone
Baseball season has ended with a melancholy whiff, and football season is upon us like a grand piano falling eight floors onto a poodle. Let’s see that again Bob. Ooh. That’s gonna leave a stain. Let’s see that again, Bob… … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, balls, baseball, end zone, football, funny, satire, zany
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Random acts of eat-my-shorts
DO YOU SUPPOSE the Greeks might have done better in their bailout negotiations if they had been wearing ties? They just looked so informal and rascally in their suit jackets, their white business shirts and those open collars. Like Nicolas … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, baseball, funny, K-Mac, nudnicking, satire, toad, toenails
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Designate this
Psychiatrists have finally recognized Baseball Player Personality Disorder–sometimes known as On the Schneid Syndrome. In “The Sabermetrics of Stinking Up The Stadium,” Dr. Ferris Wheeler states that, next to striking out while being intentionally walked, the most painful moment in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, baseball, Blue Wahoos, funny, gnome, humor, satire, therapist, waivers
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That’s a pretty big IF
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you can keep your hat too. If you really love me, you’ll address me as your highness. If I was a baseball announcer and someone hit … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, baseball, funny, Gettysburg, humor, life, parody, satire, Shakespeare, walleye, zany
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Baseball as a second language
K-Mac, the goodwife formerly known as Katherine, has been speaking baseball now for two years. Although not her native tongue, she already grasps concepts that “fluent” baseball speakers find tongue-twisting. The infield fly rule, for instance: Fewer than two outs; … Continue reading
Descartes on baseball
I think, therefore I’m thinking of sports By Renee “Buzz” Descartes We can no longer pretend it isn’t happening—this terrible scandal sweeping professional baseball. I’m talking, of course, about the flagrant use of performance enhancing rugs (PERs). Every day, … Continue reading
a hint of light 