Category Archives: Absurd and/or zany

Slightly unhinged commentary and narration from the viewpoint of a mind in traction.

Keep your goulash warm

I talked to the refrigerator again today.  It is such an arrogant machine. Beep beep beep. Yes I know the door is still open, you’re so clever. But can’t you see I’m looking for the leftover pizza and I can’t … Continue reading

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Pyrrhic Victory #2805

That night, the monster inside O’Reilly awoke. It spread its wings, believing it could fly, but, of course, it could not. So it started thrashing around down there in O’Reilly’s innard rooms, smashing picture frames, knocking over lamps, carving its … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | 5 Comments

Discontent, datcontent

I would like to take issue with the irritating misuse of the term content. Understand, I’m not talking about content as in “She was not at all content to be married to her great uncle.” Rather, the kind of content … Continue reading

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Rebuilding the dead Q. What exactly are power handles?A. They’re pretty much what they sound like. You use them to hang onto power Q. But isn’t the idea of hanging onto power metaphorical?A. No, the idea of hanging onto power … Continue reading

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Releasing the krakken

Before I got started, I received a text from the site police. “We’ll need to verify it’s you.” “Why can’t I just say ‘It’s me?” I typed.  The snarky reply text said “That is a question that not only shows … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged | 4 Comments

Free wisdom

A few years ago I stepped down as the chief executive officer of a well known Fortune 500 company. Unfortunately, I’m forbidden by a court order to name it—a long story for another time. For now I’ll just call it … Continue reading

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That is, to say, screwed

Q. Just who do you think you are?A. I am a United States citizen who knows his rights. Q. Whose rights?A. Well, his rights. Look, I was speaking in the third person, even though there are just the two of … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments