Category Archives: Absurd and/or zany

Slightly unhinged commentary and narration from the viewpoint of a mind in traction.

Keep the line moving

Q. Why are we here? A. That depends on your we. Do you mean the ‘You and me we’ or the ‘We, the peeps’ we? Q. Peeps? Those horrible yellow marshmallow chickens? What do they have to do with anything? … Continue reading

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Caught up in the tines

Every day I drill deep into the world-wide web dot (www.) trying to fathom man’s aversion to sucking it up without whining whenever he stubs his sore toe or his sorrier life. Too often I find evidence of men not … Continue reading

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Out the wazoo

I think it’s time we confront the truth. We know very little about flounder. Yeah, yeah, there are flounder experts among us (you know who you are) (obviously) who know tons of flounder stuff. Like your flounder catchers (not to … Continue reading

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Four guys with Uzis

Q. Hello. Ray, here, at Paranoia Check where we say to the unzipped, the unglued, the madly awry, your crackers, your nuts, your bananas deep-fried: “If you see something, say something.” And remember: the If is always optional. A. Hello. … Continue reading

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One strike away

Have you ever started to sing “Somewhere, over the rainbow” but forgot what comes after the? Have you ever started to blow your nose but weren’t paying enough attention because you were reading the New York Times on your device … Continue reading

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A cheap novel

Friends, I am finding it difficult, if not impossible, to attempt to be funny or silly (don’t even think funny and silly) at such a deadly, unfunny period in our American experience. Out there, madness is blooming and being watered … Continue reading

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FAQ: Without a doubt

Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading

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