Category Archives: F.A.Q.

Frequently asked questions: almost everything about something; almost something about nothing

FAQ: Without a doubt

Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading

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Pronouns of the Apocalypse

Q. Can I ask you something in confidence? A. In confidence of what? Q. In confidence you’ll keep it to yourself. A. Hmm. A very unfrequently asked question here at the F.A.Q. card table. Let me think about it. Q. … Continue reading

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F.A.Q. Who who hoo hoo

Q. Knock-knock A. Can I help you? Q. You’re supposed to say ‘Who’s there?’ A. Why? I can see who’s there. It’s you. Q. Yeah, but who am I? A. I give up. Who am you? Q. Come on. I’m … Continue reading

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Small boners

Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading

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A common geezer mistake

Ladies and gentlemen, today we are launching an internal investigation into the circumstances surrounding this unfortunate incident. As you know, it has ruined the lives of several innocent and, frankly, very attractive sheep. It has also prompted some of our … Continue reading

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F.A.Q. Adventures in feasing

Q. What is malfeasance? A. Technically, it’s the act of feasing someone named Mal. Not to be confused with Melfeasance. Q. Why not? A. Mel doesn’t like to interact with anybody else’s fease. Q. Wouldn’t that fall under the category … Continue reading

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Artsy fartsy

Q. How can I tell if I have a Caravaggio in my attic? A. Is that the guy who does the Wolf Blitzer impersonations? Q. No. Wolf Blitzer does those. He’s very good at it. A. I wouldn’t want to … Continue reading

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