Category Archives: F.A.Q.

Frequently asked questions: almost everything about something; almost something about nothing

Keep the line moving

Q. Why are we here? A. That depends on your we. Do you mean the ‘You and me we’ or the ‘We, the peeps’ we? Q. Peeps? Those horrible yellow marshmallow chickens? What do they have to do with anything? … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q. | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Running downhill in the dark

I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading

Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

FAQ: Without a doubt

Q. My auto mechanic says I have a problem with my rear end. My gastroenterologist says the same thing. My dentist says it’s all in my endo so he sent me to an endodontist. My neighbor says I’ve got my … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pronouns of the Apocalypse

Q. Can I ask you something in confidence? A. In confidence of what? Q. In confidence you’ll keep it to yourself. A. Hmm. A very unfrequently asked question here at the F.A.Q. card table. Let me think about it. Q. … Continue reading

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F.A.Q. Who who hoo hoo

Q. Knock-knock A. Can I help you? Q. You’re supposed to say ‘Who’s there?’ A. Why? I can see who’s there. It’s you. Q. Yeah, but who am I? A. I give up. Who am you? Q. Come on. I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Small boners

Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, Scribe v. Pharisees | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A common geezer mistake

Ladies and gentlemen, today we are launching an internal investigation into the circumstances surrounding this unfortunate incident. As you know, it has ruined the lives of several innocent and, frankly, very attractive sheep. It has also prompted some of our … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments