Category Archives: F.A.Q.

Frequently asked questions: almost everything about something; almost something about nothing

How I got to Perth Amboy

Q. I’ve just started writing a really cool story, but I’ve hit a speed bump. In my excitement, I forgot to come up with an idea. Where do you get story ideas? A. By “you” do you mean me? Or … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

It will heal before your wedding

Q. Sometimes people call those who disagree with them communists. But then you’ll hear them calling the same people fascists. Can people be both communist and fascist? A. Not if they hope to attend their respective balls. Q. Don’t the … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | 2 Comments

Just some guy in the stands

Q. I’m hearing a lot of talk about duality and dualism. I get that dualism is when you have a sword fight at dawn. But what is duality? A. You’re getting the term, duel confused with the term, dual. They … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

FAQ: Worried Man Blues

Q. Should I be worried? A. Yes. Q. Wow, I thought you’d say no. A. No. Q. Yes, I did. And then you said no. Just now. A. Yes. Q. So wait…you’re not saying there’s nothing to worry about? A. … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

F.A.Q. The Fruitcake Incident

Q. How do I get to my grandmother’s house? A. Go over the river and through the woods. Q. Which one? I always get my rivers mixed up. A. Don’t worry. The horse knows the way. Q. What horse? A. … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Keep the line moving

Q. Why are we here? A. That depends on your we. Do you mean the ‘You and me we’ or the ‘We, the peeps’ we? Q. Peeps? Those horrible yellow marshmallow chickens? What do they have to do with anything? … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q. | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Running downhill in the dark

I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading

Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments