Category Archives: F.A.Q.

Frequently asked questions: almost everything about something; almost something about nothing

Fun with legumes

Q. Big debate in the used-car sales director’s office. Isn’t nothingness the exact opposite of being?A. I get that question a lot. Just the other day a guy in a hardware store asked me if I knew where they kept … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Warning: Squint your eyes

F.A.Q. Irony(ish) Q. What is the difference between ironic and ironical? A. The letters A-L, which is AL. Q. Wouldn’t that be “who” is AL, since AL is a person, not a thing and therefore deserving of a personal pronoun? … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Hundo P

Q. Is that even a thing? A. Which that are you talking about? Q. That thing right there. I mean, if it is a thing. A. Okay, first thing you need to know about things: you have to distinguish between … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The inner chatter

Q. I can’t fall asleep at night. What’s up with that? A. Maybe you’re overtired. Q. What the hell does that mean? A. Sounds like Mr. Grumpy is overtired. Q. How can I be overtired and not be able to … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), Scribe v. Pharisees | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

How I got to Perth Amboy

Q. I’ve just started writing a really cool story, but I’ve hit a speed bump. In my excitement, I forgot to come up with an idea. Where do you get story ideas? A. By “you” do you mean me? Or … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

It will heal before your wedding

Q. Sometimes people call those who disagree with them communists. But then you’ll hear them calling the same people fascists. Can people be both communist and fascist? A. Not if they hope to attend their respective balls. Q. Don’t the … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | 2 Comments

Just some guy in the stands

Q. I’m hearing a lot of talk about duality and dualism. I get that dualism is when you have a sword fight at dawn. But what is duality? A. You’re getting the term, duel confused with the term, dual. They … Continue reading

Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments