Tag Archives: humor

Note to self

When you think about it, life is almost always about eluding the Inquisition. Which Inquisition, you ask? (If you didn’t ask but you asked your spouse or significant other to ask for you — because you’re too embarrassed and you’ve … Continue reading

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Itsky

…and  in conclusion, let me say if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t know what I know now. I might have taken a different path. I might not be here now. I might be over there where … Continue reading

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The Peanut Vendor’s Widow

Q. Excuse me. I lost my cell phone. Have you seen it? A. Do I know you? Q. If you knew me, you’d know you don’t know me. A. Then how would I have seen your cell phone? Q. That’s … Continue reading

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Gorilla suit protocol (applies also to grizzlies)

Q. I’m thinking of robbing a bank. Should I wear a mask? A. You mean so nobody will describe you to a police artist for the wanted poster? Q. I’ve got a gorilla mask leftover from Halloween. I wear that … Continue reading

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From the hair down

Q. I heard the lieutenant-governor of Texas say there are more important things in life than living. A. Like what? Q. That’s what I wanted to ask. What’s more important than living? A. Hockey? Q. No. Because, see, hockey falls … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Chisel-headed communist

I was signing into some website and it asked for my password. I admit I am one of those complete and troublesome idiots who can never remember any of the 1,271 passwords for my 1,271 most important websites. Over the … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Stoned, as it were

Q. It’s been said ‘You can’t get blood from a stone.’ Why? A. You mean why do people say that? Or why can’t you get blood from a stone? Q. Um… A. Take your time. Actually, it’s my time. But … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments