Tag Archives: Spanish Inquisition

The duck commander

While waiting at a stop sign for further instructions, I started thinking about the presumptions made by the boys and girls down at the highway department. When they decide what goes on a highway sign they presume that we—the un-neutered, … Continue reading

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1955 green linoleum

The New York Times interviewed me for a feature on novelists who are unpublished because they aren’t tall. Or, in some cases, because they are too tall. I agreed on the off chance a publisher might see it and say … Continue reading

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Bilge water and bratwurst

ATTENTION READER: We have found below numerous words, phrases and ideas so offensive as to put the deeply constipated at risk for the spontaneous and painful delivery of a hippopotamus. We have therefore drawn a line through inappropriate verbiage, nounage, … Continue reading

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The trousers of regret

I feel the need to talk about pants. When speaking of pants, one might talk about the color, the material or the zipper. One might even fall into a discussion about when it’s vital to wear pants, or when it’s … Continue reading

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Sic transit gloria mundi*

 Yesterday he lifted a slat in the blinds and saw The Spanish Inquisition driving through the neighborhood. He quickly ducked away, his back to the wall. Gulping for air, he wondered how they had found him. He spent the rest … Continue reading

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