Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: Spanish Inquisition
Note to self
When you think about it, life is almost always about eluding the Inquisition. Which Inquisition, you ask? (If you didn’t ask but you asked your spouse or significant other to ask for you — because you’re too embarrassed and you’ve … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged bizarre, cranky, humor, satire, Spanish Inquisition, zany
2 Comments
The duck commander
While waiting at a stop sign for further instructions, I started thinking about the presumptions made by the boys and girls down at the highway department. When they decide what goes on a highway sign they presume that we—the un-neutered, … Continue reading
1955 green linoleum
The New York Times interviewed me for a feature on novelists who are unpublished because they aren’t tall. Or, in some cases, because they are too tall. I agreed on the off chance a publisher might see it and say … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, linoleum, Moby Dicked, satire, Spanish Inquisition, Stendahl
6 Comments
Bilge water and bratwurst
ATTENTION READER: We have found below numerous words, phrases and ideas so offensive as to put the deeply constipated at risk for the spontaneous and painful delivery of a hippopotamus. We have therefore drawn a line through inappropriate verbiage, nounage, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged Apocalypse, funny, humor, satire, Spanish Inquisition, Uncle Big Guy
3 Comments
The trousers of regret
I feel the need to talk about pants. When speaking of pants, one might talk about the color, the material or the zipper. One might even fall into a discussion about when it’s vital to wear pants, or when it’s … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, Latin, pants, Spanish Inquisition, zany
6 Comments
Sic transit gloria mundi*
Yesterday he lifted a slat in the blinds and saw The Spanish Inquisition driving through the neighborhood. He quickly ducked away, his back to the wall. Gulping for air, he wondered how they had found him. He spent the rest … Continue reading
a hint of light 