Category Archives: Mockery and derision

Making fun of someone, something, someplace, sumbitch

Fun with legumes

Q. Big debate in the used-car sales director’s office. Isn’t nothingness the exact opposite of being?A. I get that question a lot. Just the other day a guy in a hardware store asked me if I knew where they kept … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Warning: Squint your eyes

F.A.Q. Irony(ish) Q. What is the difference between ironic and ironical? A. The letters A-L, which is AL. Q. Wouldn’t that be “who” is AL, since AL is a person, not a thing and therefore deserving of a personal pronoun? … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

On Pants (with pants on)

Have you ever come across a story in your newspaper so confounding that you decided to have just one more beer and then go out and bark at the moon? No, same here. I mean, hardly ever. Before you read … Continue reading

Posted in Mockery and derision | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Firetrucking idiot

Police blotter, Awkward Point police 7:49 a.m. Anonymous tip: burning pants lying in road across from Gunther’s Previously Opened Canned Vegetables.  Pants are smoking in clearly marked “Smoke free” zone. Fire department’s answering machine is full.  Tried to leave message … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Sigh ops

I sat on the edge of my bed this morning and thought about the unpleasant, energy-devouring items on my agenda for the day: shovel the walk, mow the lawn, call Putin and tell him communism sucks, pressure wash the outhouse, … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Full (as a tick) disclosure

You’re about to do something so bold, so socially weird that, should you be caught, your career — if you have one — is over. If you don’t have one, you will be issued a temporary, well-paying career with good … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Watch your head

Here’s what we know so far: Public confidence in the statement “That could never happen” has fallen in the polls, replaced by the fast-rising, seldom-believed promise “That will never happen again.” Mean people suck and will continue to suck for … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments