Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: idiot
The 7 People You Meet In the 10-Item Lane
1.The con man with a full cart of groceries. The cashier points to the 10-item sign and he whimpers “This is the express lane? Oh no. I didn’t know. Please. I have very painful bone spurs. And, I’m just a few … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, garlic, geeze bag, Heimlich, idiot, moldering, pretzel rod, satire, zany
5 Comments
Full disclosure
Are you a denier? If you’re not a denier and someone says you’re a denier and you deny it, does your lobotomy scar start to throb? Is it possible you’re in denial? Is it even possible you’ve misspelled your way … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bears, gluten, humor, idiot, satire, X-files, zany
4 Comments
Small boners
Q. I’m running for president but people say I’m crazy. How do I prove I’m not? A. Are you the guy who says Australia doesn’t exist because you’ve never been there? Q. Same with New Zealand. Have you ever been … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, idiot, irony, satire, zany
3 Comments
Playing the sincerity card (jouer le joker)
•To my tens of thousands of fans I would like to say I am so sorry. This will never happen again. •I want to thank my huge fan base for their prayers and tweets. I was stupid and my actions … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, farouk, funny, idiot, jerk, satire, sorry, zany
4 Comments
Let’s say this is funny
I hate it when a writer starts to explain something and says “Unless you’ve been living on Mars and don’t know that the Boer War is over…” Or “Unless you’ve been living on Mars and don’t know that Vincent Black … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Bieber, Canada, funny, humor, idiot, Mars, Prince Edward Island, satire, Vincent Black Lightning, zany
4 Comments
Quick idiot check (slow idiots also welcome)
Often you hear the phrase “Stop acting like an idiot,” or “You sound like an idiot,” or “You look like an idiot.” If you’re not an idiot then these phrases serve as friendly warning signs that you may be drifting … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, idiot, moron, zany
1 Comment
a hint of light 