Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: The human comedy
Blown
Let’s say you’re a god. With a small g, because we all know you’re not the Big G. But, for educational purposes only, let’s continue to say you’re a lower case god like back in the day when they had … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Big G, Bud Lite Lime, Jolene
5 Comments
The Usually Better Business Bureau (TUBBB) has issued the following Consumer Warning:
The NLG corporation makes Nice Looking Gizmo knockoffs that do everything the more costly but less nice-looking gizmos do. Except they only work for about a week and then become nice looking gizmos that don’t do anything except maybe chirp … Continue reading
You may feel a little pinch
Have you ever tried to walk a mile in somebody’s shoes and then got arrested for shoe theft? Have you ever tried to follow the guidelines to life in the Good Book, like killing the fatted calf when your prodigal … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Dentists, nose hair, sand hanitizer, wisdom, zip it
2 Comments
Itsky
…and in conclusion, let me say if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t know what I know now. I might have taken a different path. I might not be here now. I might be over there where … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged humor, Itsky, satire, zany
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The written test-19
This coronavirus written test is for those too squeamish to have a goal post stuck up their noses and twirled like a swizzle stick. (That’s right, some people have more than one nose. Your point?) In 500 words or less, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, Covid-19, funny, nostril insurance, satire, zany
8 Comments
The Peanut Vendor’s Widow
Q. Excuse me. I lost my cell phone. Have you seen it? A. Do I know you? Q. If you knew me, you’d know you don’t know me. A. Then how would I have seen your cell phone? Q. That’s … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, earth, fart, humor, Planet Zulon, satire, zany
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Gorilla suit protocol (applies also to grizzlies)
Q. I’m thinking of robbing a bank. Should I wear a mask? A. You mean so nobody will describe you to a police artist for the wanted poster? Q. I’ve got a gorilla mask leftover from Halloween. I wear that … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., foo, gorilla bottoms, gorilla suit, grizzly, humor, satire, zany
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