Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: The human comedy
Blotting out the sun
I know a guy named Al whose assigned duties include doing the dishes after dinner. (Stay with me, it gets better.) The other night, as usual, Al stacked plates in the dishwasher while ambidextrously whistling the Woody Woodpecker song. All … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, bogwort, funny, plastic, pluperfect, satire, zany
4 Comments
Caught up in the tines
Every day I drill deep into the world-wide web dot (www.) trying to fathom man’s aversion to sucking it up without whining whenever he stubs his sore toe or his sorrier life. Too often I find evidence of men not … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, beer nuts, irony, moo, satire, ukulele, zany
2 Comments
Running downhill in the dark
I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading
Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, hashtag, K-Mac, no-brainer, satire, zany
14 Comments
On the couch
The other night while watching baseball on the Smart TV, we saw the $80 million pitcher for the visiting team struggling. His cut fastball kept bleeding out; his hairball showed scarcely a follicle; and his trademark sleazeball danced into the … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, balls, hemorrhoids, humor, K-Mac, meatball, satire, zany
2 Comments
A cheap novel
Friends, I am finding it difficult, if not impossible, to attempt to be funny or silly (don’t even think funny and silly) at such a deadly, unfunny period in our American experience. Out there, madness is blooming and being watered … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, f---, funny, K-Mac, mooses, Protestants, satire, zany
2 Comments
A little secret
Have you ever found yourself running down the dream and suddenly realized you’d lost your self-awareness? The answer is no, because, if so, you’d be self-aware and already know you’d lost it. See how that works? (The key there is … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, art, death sucks, deindividuation, Guelph, life sucks, satire, suck, zany
2 Comments
