Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: The human comedy
Nightmare traffic
Unidentified Patient (Not me): Does any of this make sense? Dr.Pepperoncini: I could ask “Any of what?” and you could blather on and while you’re blathering I could be thinking about what ruined my chances of becoming a sturgeon and … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, blather, funny, Parsippany, satire, sturgeon, zany
8 Comments
Uh oh, fake Haiku
Saturday, a day for fixing, or feeling guilt for fixing nada. A day to repair the broken strings of harmo dang, I whacked my ny. Mow the lawn, rake leaves, Vacuum downstairs then the up. Say goodbye to nap. Out … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, Baloney, funny, kaopectate, M&Emziz, nada, parody, satire, zany
2 Comments
How I got to Perth Amboy
Q. I’ve just started writing a really cool story, but I’ve hit a speed bump. In my excitement, I forgot to come up with an idea. Where do you get story ideas? A. By “you” do you mean me? Or … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bear brains, boppers, F.A.Q., funny, Milk Duds, satire, zany
5 Comments
Would it kill you?
Read an interesting article in the latest copy of “Interesting Articles and Ammo” magazine. A woman in Davenport, Iowa was vacuuming the living room carpet when she came up against her husband, seated in his chair, reading “Interesting Articles and … Continue reading
Posted in funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bosom, davenport, depraved, LeBron, Maraschino, satire, wisdom, zany
5 Comments
It will heal before your wedding
Q. Sometimes people call those who disagree with them communists. But then you’ll hear them calling the same people fascists. Can people be both communist and fascist? A. Not if they hope to attend their respective balls. Q. Don’t the … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
2 Comments
That is gross, man
Got a new dish-washing scrub brush, and boys, it is a beaut. It’s snub nosed, comes with a shoulder holster and fits my fist like a set of brass knuckles. We’re talking heft and the kind of authority any prison … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, flubba, funny, satire, Swarovski, Utica Club, zany
3 Comments
The rats are dead
So. I went down to the Social Media Blackmarket to procure some followers. As a blogger, I want lots of followers for the simple reason that if you have, say, just two followers and one of them is make-believe, it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, followers, funny, peeps, rats, satire, zany, Zunar
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