Category Archives: funny

Watch your head

Here’s what we know so far: Public confidence in the statement “That could never happen” has fallen in the polls, replaced by the fast-rising, seldom-believed promise “That will never happen again.” Mean people suck and will continue to suck for … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Would it kill you?

Read an interesting article in the latest copy of “Interesting Articles and Ammo” magazine. A woman in Davenport, Iowa was vacuuming the living room carpet when she came up against her husband, seated in his chair, reading “Interesting Articles and … Continue reading

Posted in funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The really sick part

We sat on the sofa, K-Mac and I, watching a talking cookie on the Smart TV try to persuade us that cookies know how to talk and that they have kids and dogs and mortgages and pickup trucks and hopes … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Fly who buzzed me

Monday 9:17am. Started writing “How to Make a Million Before the Weekend.” Why haven’t I thought of this before? You get rich before the weekend so you have two straight days of buying toys and playing with them and eating … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

How to open an English muffin

Step 1. Get an English muffin. Now. Step 2. Stand near a window so you can see what you’re doing. Make sure you are decent. Step 3. Hold the muffin in one hand by its edges and gaze upon it … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blowing Uncle Bob

A loud crashing noise from the kitchen. Something on the level of a rusted VW microbus hurled against the side of the house by a Visigoth catapult. I rush to the bottom of the stairway and holler “Anyone hurt up … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Holding your water

It’s hard to get across to new writers that for all the effort and pain they put into writing their poem, their novel, their hip-hoppery, those brilliant scribbles are nothing but a first draft. I learned the hard way. I … Continue reading

Posted in funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments