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Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
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Feed Your Head
Category Archives: funny
Keep your goulash warm
I talked to the refrigerator again today. It is such an arrogant machine. Beep beep beep. Yes I know the door is still open, you’re so clever. But can’t you see I’m looking for the leftover pizza and I can’t … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, beep, boo boo, Fred Flintstone, K-Mac, meatloaf, satire, tofu, vil, zany
4 Comments
Discontent, datcontent
I would like to take issue with the irritating misuse of the term content. Understand, I’m not talking about content as in “She was not at all content to be married to her great uncle.” Rather, the kind of content … Continue reading
Releasing the krakken
Before I got started, I received a text from the site police. “We’ll need to verify it’s you.” “Why can’t I just say ‘It’s me?” I typed. The snarky reply text said “That is a question that not only shows … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged krakken
4 Comments
Note to self
When you think about it, life is almost always about eluding the Inquisition. Which Inquisition, you ask? (If you didn’t ask but you asked your spouse or significant other to ask for you — because you’re too embarrassed and you’ve … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged bizarre, cranky, humor, satire, Spanish Inquisition, zany
2 Comments
Tremendous Suck
I have a whine with the way scientists have failed to explain the journalistic 6 W’s and the H (Who, What, Where, When, Why and Wowser Howzer) of black holes. I’ve streamed endless black hole specials, I’ve seen black hole … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, goddam, Howzer, satire, shut my mouth wide open, Wowser
1 Comment
You may feel a little pinch
Have you ever tried to walk a mile in somebody’s shoes and then got arrested for shoe theft? Have you ever tried to follow the guidelines to life in the Good Book, like killing the fatted calf when your prodigal … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Dentists, nose hair, sand hanitizer, wisdom, zip it
2 Comments
Itsky
…and in conclusion, let me say if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t know what I know now. I might have taken a different path. I might not be here now. I might be over there where … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged humor, Itsky, satire, zany
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