Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: funny
You may feel a little pinch
Have you ever tried to walk a mile in somebody’s shoes and then got arrested for shoe theft? Have you ever tried to follow the guidelines to life in the Good Book, like killing the fatted calf when your prodigal … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Dentists, nose hair, sand hanitizer, wisdom, zip it
2 Comments
Itsky
…and in conclusion, let me say if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t know what I know now. I might have taken a different path. I might not be here now. I might be over there where … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged humor, Itsky, satire, zany
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Eye-squinting
Some days I wake up to the melodies of smiling, chirping birds. They make me want to bound out of bed and sing the harmony parts, although K-Mac has a strict policy about singing in the bedroom while she is … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, crap, funny, K-Mac, quotient, satire, smellbad, transmogrify, zany
7 Comments
Attention: people in white coats
A bear walks into a bar… Okay, hold it right there… I don’t know about you, but it’s been quite a while since a bear last walked into a bar in my town. Some blame it on the liberals, those … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, nazi bastards, oddball patrons, satire, tutus, zany, zombie
2 Comments
Watch your head
Here’s what we know so far: Public confidence in the statement “That could never happen” has fallen in the polls, replaced by the fast-rising, seldom-believed promise “That will never happen again.” Mean people suck and will continue to suck for … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, Alice, earbnb, fois gras, funny, satire, schneid, zany
5 Comments
Would it kill you?
Read an interesting article in the latest copy of “Interesting Articles and Ammo” magazine. A woman in Davenport, Iowa was vacuuming the living room carpet when she came up against her husband, seated in his chair, reading “Interesting Articles and … Continue reading
Posted in funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bosom, davenport, depraved, LeBron, Maraschino, satire, wisdom, zany
5 Comments
The really sick part
We sat on the sofa, K-Mac and I, watching a talking cookie on the Smart TV try to persuade us that cookies know how to talk and that they have kids and dogs and mortgages and pickup trucks and hopes … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, donut vape, funny, humor, igalixpoo, satire, zany
2 Comments
