Category Archives: funny

Eye-squinting

Some days I wake up to the melodies of smiling, chirping birds. They make me want to bound out of bed and sing the harmony parts, although K-Mac has a strict policy about singing in the bedroom while she is … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Attention: people in white coats

A bear walks into a bar… Okay, hold it right there… I don’t know about you, but it’s been quite a while since a bear last walked into a bar in my town. Some blame it on the liberals, those … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Watch your head

Here’s what we know so far: Public confidence in the statement “That could never happen” has fallen in the polls, replaced by the fast-rising, seldom-believed promise “That will never happen again.” Mean people suck and will continue to suck for … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, Mockery and derision, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Would it kill you?

Read an interesting article in the latest copy of “Interesting Articles and Ammo” magazine. A woman in Davenport, Iowa was vacuuming the living room carpet when she came up against her husband, seated in his chair, reading “Interesting Articles and … Continue reading

Posted in funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The really sick part

We sat on the sofa, K-Mac and I, watching a talking cookie on the Smart TV try to persuade us that cookies know how to talk and that they have kids and dogs and mortgages and pickup trucks and hopes … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Fly who buzzed me

Monday 9:17am. Started writing “How to Make a Million Before the Weekend.” Why haven’t I thought of this before? You get rich before the weekend so you have two straight days of buying toys and playing with them and eating … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

How to open an English muffin

Step 1. Get an English muffin. Now. Step 2. Stand near a window so you can see what you’re doing. Make sure you are decent. Step 3. Hold the muffin in one hand by its edges and gaze upon it … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, funny, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments