Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: Haiku
Oh no
I was doing the dishes after supper — doing an outstanding job by the way — when K-Mac asked “Where did you learn to wash dishes?” “I’m self taught,” I replied, using a steak knife like an ice pick to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, auto-didact, funny, Grant's tomb, Haiku, K-Mac, oh, satire, zany
3 Comments
Listen up, you maggots
The Japanese form of poetry known as haiku conveys observations about nature and/or boneheadosity in a 17-syllable verse. Traditionally, haiku are expressed in three non-rhyming lines of five, seven and five syllables. Here is a rare example of an ancient … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged bulges, false nose, funny, Haiku, satire, zany
5 Comments
Apostles playing shuffleboard
Persuaded by several factors, I decided to sell my Nobel Prize (NOZE). Factor One: I’d gotten all the glory I was ever going to get from it. My wife was proud, but she wasn’t going to get up every day … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, Haiku, Last Supper, NOZE, satire, stink bug, walleye, zany
2 Comments
Haiku, yuku, wi all kuku
A poem dashed off in pajamas will not wait for a coat and tie. News breaks the promise that the beast of tomorrow won’t growl before dawn. Immortality begins with such simple words: ‘Once upon a time.’ The mind, not … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Grant's tomb, Haiku, humor, immortality, satire, story, wisdom
7 Comments
Haiku, haiku very much
Just thinking. What if poets wrote technical instruction manuals? Take your basic lawn mower foruhzample: Operating instructions for your Haiku 575® Lawn Mowing Machine How to assemble And use with minimal pain Your happy doodad Honored grass cutter, Open manual … Continue reading
