Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: Dogs I Have Known
Rawt Ro
Owner: What do you want? Can’t you see I’m thinking? Ownee: Here I am, standing at attention, my head cocked at an adorable angle, awaiting your command. By the way, if you happen to have an old, unused treat hanging … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Dogs I Have Known, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, hairbag, parody, rawt ro, satire, slobber, zany
2 Comments
Elephant check
I was in the counting house, counting all my money. Okay, our money. K-Mac sat counting the ways I needed to improve if I expected her to hang around for another 50 years. She suggested I stop fantasizing all the … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Dogs I Have Known
Tagged absurd, humor, K-Mac, lost elephant, muffin man, satire, zany
2 Comments
Running downhill in the dark
I think it would be appropriate if I were momentarily serious while discussing my recent and actual brain surgery. If you have had brain surgery you may be thinking “Who gives a flying burrito about your brain surgery?” A completely … Continue reading
Posted in Dogs I Have Known, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, hashtag, K-Mac, no-brainer, satire, zany
14 Comments
The mystery of the wet snout
With these few words I bring to a close the short series of sketches I have called “Nuggets I picked up from my dog.” My obtuse thinking about the mysteries of life while shadowing the late Coffee J. Dogg over … Continue reading
He knew it and he knew I knew he knew it.
No. 21 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. Once upon a time, Coffee J. Dogg was a used hound in need of a new life. By happenstance I was a … Continue reading
The Panama Limited (Very)
No. 20 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. I am summoned from my bed by a dreadful keening, a low moaning sound that rises gradually to a howl, like an … Continue reading
Snouting the riddle of time
No. 19 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired by walks with my late dog, Coffee. As he was leaving, the guy who came to fix my computer looked down at the beast stretched out on the … Continue reading
a hint of light 