Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: The human comedy
Boom, boom, boom
Fell asleep last night with my iPod on and my earbuds in. Three thousand songs from the past thirty years crowded my brain and trampled all the grass on the hippocampus. When I woke up I began to speak in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged 50-amp fuse, absurd, dreams, funny, humor, medulla oblongata, rock and roll, satire, Victrola
2 Comments
Mistaken for Mr. Peanut
I think we all agree that a scary percentage of the 320 million people in the United States are what may charitably be called “one quack short of a duck.” Uncharitable bastards, however, still insist on labeling them “one duck … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged cylon, duck, funny, humor, Mr. Peanut, nutjob, quack, satire
6 Comments
A handful of panty hose
As I have noted publicly–while ambidextrously noting privately those who take no note of my noting—I am the honcho of the weekly grocery shopping. In that capacity I get the use of the Honda (sans le conductor backseato,) a black … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged Cart Woman, chocolateless, funny, humor, K-Mac, macaroons, satire
2 Comments
OOPS!
Hello from etherland If you’ve already received and/or read this post, you are very special. But because of a technical error, yesterday’s post (Questions Without Answers Without Question) got chewed up in the food processor and was inaccessible to several … Continue reading
Posted in The human comedy
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Questions Without Answers Without Question
• Why do things like antlers and lawn furniture and Swedish meatballs come out your nose when you go into a coughing jag? • Why do they call the Secret Service secret when we already know it’s not a secret? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, blorking, BOOM, funny, gravity, satire, swedish meatballs
3 Comments
Wake up and smell
Saw a movie the other night where Denzel Washington demanded kidnappers give him Proof of Life that the person he was trying to ransom was still alive. Still alive. Or as Monty Python would have it “Not quite dead yet.” … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged cremation, doobie, foo foo, funny, humor, satire
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The duck commander
While waiting at a stop sign for further instructions, I started thinking about the presumptions made by the boys and girls down at the highway department. When they decide what goes on a highway sign they presume that we—the un-neutered, … Continue reading
a hint of light 