Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: The human comedy
Corrugated poop
Over at The Mental Couch, the big outlet where shrinks get their furniture and rubber-room fixtures, they also sell colorful, washable placemats that list all mental disorders. You’ll find Nuts, Half-Nuts, Nut Boy, Nut Meg, Donna, Astrid, etc. A perfect … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, goddammitly, goulash, Nee-nu-na-na, satire, zany
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Rearranging the donuts
Ever been to one of those pricey writer’s workshops held in the mountains, or the prairies or the oceans, white with some sort of foaming ick? You’ll hear bestselling authors giving out all sorts of advice on how to write … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, donuts, funny, satire, sigmoidoscopy, zany
6 Comments
Another man’s or
Our most frequently asked question of the universe-at-large (remembering to use our inside voice) is a simple one: Is there or isn’t there? Put more simply, in the universal language of the chainsaw-wielding prophet of the street — he of … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, doo doo, gravity, humor, satire, wisdom, zany
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The banger and the bun
My brother-in-law lives in one of those exclusive grated communities. Every other week huge trucks with tires as tall as a Donald Trump tale unload a small mountain of grated romano or parmesan cheese in the parking lot next to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy, Uncategorized
Tagged absurd, banger, buns, funny, satire, sausage, walrus, zany
3 Comments
Speaking of enormous
I see they’re about to start selling us shoes that tie themselves. Seriously. I wonder if they’re going to call them loafers. I also wonder if we’ve gotten just a little too self-ish for our own good. A guy came … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bald spot, butt, humor, satire, self-esteemer, spanking, zany
3 Comments
Duckspeak
We were en route to nowhere on one interstate or another, lost in disparate musings about Gid Tanner and the Skillet Lickers, mulching the garden, how one might get out of mulching the garden, how many Oreos are left at … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged 1984, absurd, funny, Orwellian, satire, The Donald, zany
4 Comments
Rump roast
I am often stopped on the street by people of a certain age who ask “Please, do you have any spare tires? If not, could you at least explain what is a meme?” Talk about your teachable moments. I am … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged asshat, funny, Plato, rump, satire, zany
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a hint of light 