Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: absurd
The story in your shorts
It’s been some time since it was okay to write a short story that contained an actual story. Funny how naïve we once were, hanging on every word in a story, wondering what would happen to the cool characters and … Continue reading
Quick idiot check (slow idiots also welcome)
Often you hear the phrase “Stop acting like an idiot,” or “You sound like an idiot,” or “You look like an idiot.” If you’re not an idiot then these phrases serve as friendly warning signs that you may be drifting … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, idiot, moron, zany
1 Comment
Absurdly Existential Standup
Welcome to our new feature, Interviews With Famous Dead People You Probably Never Heard Of But Would Have If You’d Only Paid Attention In School Instead Of Screwing Around And Becoming A Bitter Disappointment To Your Parents Who Did The … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The Elevator Speech
Q. What exactly is an elevator speech? A. Imagine you step onto an elevator and find yourself standing next to the Big Garbanzo Bean of the company you’re dying to work for. In the next 30 seconds, before the elevator … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, F.A.Q., humor, satire
4 Comments
Garbage in, garbage out
Is there anything more shaming than to set out your trash cans in the morning and then to come home at night and see that your cans are still full, but all of the neighbor’s cans have been emptied? In … Continue reading
Speed bumpery
After spending my non-adult life as a kid, I wanted to so something non-adult as an adult. I wanted to be a musician, a comedian, an actor. The nuns said oh no you’re not, mister. You’re going to be a … Continue reading
Posted in Scribe v. Pharisees, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, banjo, funny, humor, satire
2 Comments
a hint of light 