Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: funny
A flat iron will do the trick
I have very few complaints. Nothing that a million dollars couldn’t resolve. The only real annoyance I can think of—and it’s such a piddling, nitpicky issue that I’m embarrassed to admit it—but I haven’t yet received my million dollars. And … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, Orient-R, satire, stinkbad
6 Comments
When she is ten times better at it
You’ve seen it happen again and again. Someone throws a fish to a seal, he goes “Ork ork,” catches it in his mouth, swallows it and comes back for another. Yet if somebody throws a fish to a man, it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged balls, fish, funny, humor, satire, seal, Zamboni, zany
5 Comments
Apostles playing shuffleboard
Persuaded by several factors, I decided to sell my Nobel Prize (NOZE). Factor One: I’d gotten all the glory I was ever going to get from it. My wife was proud, but she wasn’t going to get up every day … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, Haiku, Last Supper, NOZE, satire, stink bug, walleye, zany
2 Comments
Irish in the powder room
At a party last week, I ducked into the powder room because I do unannounced freelance inspections on behalf of one of the bigger gunpowder companies. Fortunately, it was unoccupied at the time. It’s sooooo much easier that way. I … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged banjo, funny, humor, Jiminy Cricket, religious, Rob Roy, satire, zany
6 Comments
The head of a toad
I’m going to be blunt: no sugar-coating, no waffling, no pancaking, no sausaging, no baconing, no bear clawing. And political correctness be damned. Oh, and no napkinating. So. The truth is (and this hurts) we own a stupid toaster. I’m … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, Gettysburg, humor, Latvia, satire, toad, zany
7 Comments
The Pope of comedy
Today on Talking With Famous Bob we welcome best-selling author Knute Knudeknick. His last book “God Made The World Flat So It’s Easier to Vacuum,” tells of a boy growing up poor on a throw-rug farm in North Dakota. When … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F-bomb, funny, humor, Knudeknick, satire, zany
9 Comments
The head scratch thing
I sat at my brilliant idea machine trying to coax a brilliant thought from its keyboard. I had a good one by the ankles, but the little booger was holding on for dear life and I just couldn’t budge it. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, Passaic, satire, snappy, zany
5 Comments
a hint of light 