Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
Two bears walk into a bar
Two bears, Steve and Ted, walk into a bar. “Hope they don’t ask for ID,” says Ted. “They don’t check bears for ID.” “How do you know?” “I just know,” says Steve, the older of the two. “By the way … Continue reading
Blow that bozo away
Why do we say “It’s snowing like a bastard?” What does a bastard have to do with snow? Better question: how does a bastard snow? Let me count the ways. For my exhaustive research turned up a letter written years … Continue reading
Alone with my elephant
I didn’t want to appear complacent. Especially not at a time when just about everyone seems so dissatisfied with their slow progress toward fame, fortune and reality. So yesterday, I called myself into the office and fired me. Needless to … Continue reading
He knew it and he knew I knew he knew it.
No. 21 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. Once upon a time, Coffee J. Dogg was a used hound in need of a new life. By happenstance I was a … Continue reading
Never say worm to a horse
Every day while driving to a job site at which my services are no longer required, I passed half a dozen horse farms. I was perplexed by the sight of some horses out there in the chill morning wearing blankets … Continue reading
The Panama Limited (Very)
No. 20 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired while walking the late Coffee J. Dogg. I am summoned from my bed by a dreadful keening, a low moaning sound that rises gradually to a howl, like an … Continue reading
Snouting the riddle of time
No. 19 in “Nuggets I picked up from my dog,” inspired by walks with my late dog, Coffee. As he was leaving, the guy who came to fix my computer looked down at the beast stretched out on the … Continue reading
a hint of light 