Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: zany
Speaking of enormous
I see they’re about to start selling us shoes that tie themselves. Seriously. I wonder if they’re going to call them loafers. I also wonder if we’ve gotten just a little too self-ish for our own good. A guy came … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bald spot, butt, humor, satire, self-esteemer, spanking, zany
3 Comments
Duckspeak
We were en route to nowhere on one interstate or another, lost in disparate musings about Gid Tanner and the Skillet Lickers, mulching the garden, how one might get out of mulching the garden, how many Oreos are left at … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged 1984, absurd, funny, Orwellian, satire, The Donald, zany
4 Comments
The Parsippany cutoff
One of the hazards of staffing a Frequently Asked Questions booth is that all too frequently the questions come with such lack of (i.e., im) becility that many of our volunteers suffer breakdowns, some of them automotive in nature, others … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, banjo, gawumpie, humor, Nuggets, satire, trapezoid, zany
7 Comments
Blown dead
Who can deny that we live in an age of gizmotic marvels? You sir? (Security, table three, guy in the chicken suit). The cell phone, the computer, the internet, the cloud, the penile implant, the driverless car, the waterless state, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, leafblower, satire, zany
2 Comments
Tweetholes
Sigh. Almost daily some celebrity tweets something reprehensible and the media jumps on it like Mr. Hippo on a mudpie. Typically, the celeb botches the mandatory faux apology, tarnishing the silver tea service of his reputation and punching up a full … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, satire, tacos, The Carpenter, tweetholes, zany
1 Comment
Rump roast
I am often stopped on the street by people of a certain age who ask “Please, do you have any spare tires? If not, could you at least explain what is a meme?” Talk about your teachable moments. I am … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged asshat, funny, Plato, rump, satire, zany
Leave a comment
A matter of fact
Three facts walk into a bar. One is Cold-Hard Fact, a completely ripped body builder with six-pack abs and a light sheen of Mazola oil. The second is Political Fact, wearing a completely ripped-off shark skin suit with a fin … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, facts, Florsheims, satire, zany
1 Comment
a hint of light 