Pearls before dopes

Note: If reading these haiku1 aloud, try ending each with the word “Grasshopper.” Or not. (Presence of actual grasshopper not necessary.)

Pilgrim’s Lack of Progress

Once there was no hate
only love to soothe the souls
of those who had one

Make fun of banjo
if you must, but remember:
when you pick, God grins

When refreshing the
empty peanut dish of life
why not try mixed nuts?

When you tick Him off
God writes down your name and draws
a line right through it 

Subpoenaed by Congress?
Don’t worry, it’s just Congress;
sometimes they’re so cute 

When you tell a lie
it’s like butt-dialing Satan
who just loves butt heads 

He who loves the sound
of his own voice is a man
with hearing problems

Guy at Pearly Gates:
“I am who am, who am you?”
Don’t look good, do it?”

1 Say Hi Koo as in
“Hi Koo, Dude, howzit going?
You still with whozit?”

©Patrick A. McGuire and A Hint of Light 2013-2019, all rights reserved.

This entry was posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Pearls before dopes

  1. Last one’s not high koo (koo ka choob)!

    Like

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