Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Author Archives: PMcG
How cold is it?
A friend says to me “What’s the weather like outside?” I grimace. “It’s hotter than a beanstalk.” My friend blinks once. Twice. “Did you say beanstalk?” I sigh. Another beanstalk noob, meaning I have to explain myself out loud and … Continue reading
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 8
Being bits of wisdom gleaned from daily walks with my dog, Coffee. He left for stars unknown in 2010. Unwritten Rules Occasionally while Katherine and I are in the living room watching TV, one of us will say “Look, there’s … Continue reading
Haiku, haiku very much
Just thinking. What if poets wrote technical instruction manuals? Take your basic lawn mower foruhzample: Operating instructions for your Haiku 575® Lawn Mowing Machine How to assemble And use with minimal pain Your happy doodad Honored grass cutter, Open manual … Continue reading
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 7
Bash on regardless While following the hound up the hill in the morning before you’re fully awake, you tend to keep your head down and eyes focused on the current slab of sidewalk coming into view between your two feet. … Continue reading
St. Paul’s e-Pistle to Bob
Bobster, I thought it kind of impersonal to be writing an e-Pistle addressed simply to Galoshes.com, so I’ve decided to address each Galosh in a separate post. (This may be the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.) So Bob, did you … Continue reading
Posted in News You Can Use (Sort of), Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged humor, satire, scribe, St. Paul
2 Comments
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 6
Hmmm Katherine asks “Why is it funny to see a dog in the front seat, looking out the window?” We are in the car. No dog with us. I am driving and at the moment, Katherine is the one sitting … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The N.S.A.
Q. What does N.A.S.A stand for? A. It’s N.S.A. You’re thinking of astronauts. Q. How do you know what I’m thinking? A. Well, ironically, that’s what the NSA is all about. Q. So what is the NSA? Why is it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged F.A.Q., funny, humor, satire
7 Comments
a hint of light 