Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Author Archives: PMcG
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 5
A Glowing Vat of Cheese Freed from his leash, Coffee J. Dogg seems a different animal. With the world now his fire hydrant he bops along with bushy tail motoring back and forth like a Grandfather clock on … Continue reading
Posted in Dogs I Have Known, The human comedy
Tagged bluegrass, humor, Katherine, Nuggets
6 Comments
Descartes on baseball
I think, therefore I’m thinking of sports By Renee “Buzz” Descartes We can no longer pretend it isn’t happening—this terrible scandal sweeping professional baseball. I’m talking, of course, about the flagrant use of performance enhancing rugs (PERs). Every day, … Continue reading
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 4
Out In Real Life Bought Coffee J. Dogg one of those new-age leash thingies, the ones with the spring-loaded cord coiled inside an industrial strength plastic housing—sometimes known as a handle. That a simple dog’s leash could evolve into something … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The Dishwasher
Q. Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? A. Dirty. I think. Q. Didn’t you run them last night? A. Me? Um I…don’t think so. Q. They look clean. A. Then they’re clean. Probably. Maybe. Q. Ooh, gross. … Continue reading
Nuggets I Picked up from my dog, No. 3
The Bus Stop Dog Before Coffee J. Dogg moved in, Katherine and I worried a bit about the friendliness of the neighborhood. There’s really nothing not to like about our little street, but after three years we didn’t really know … Continue reading
Fish story No. 2
The truth about fishing is this: no matter how much a fisher dude raves about the spiritual rejuvenation of being one with nature, in your typical 8-hour day of fishing on the lake that fisher dude doesn’t actually see that … Continue reading
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 1
Where our souls meet The hound who walks me twice daily is a used dog. In fact, each of the previous dogs of my acquaintance over three-score years started out with someone else but by serendipity and a nose for … Continue reading
a hint of light 