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Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
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Feed Your Head
Category Archives: Absurd and/or zany
For the One Hundredth Time…
Dear Hint of Light Guy: I see it’s been a hundred years since you started writing this humor blog. When will the humor kick in? –Humorless Dear Humorless: Not 100 years, 100 posts over one year. Just as a fine … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged electrons, monetize, parody, satire, zany
3 Comments
Being Perfict
Friends, we must stop our mad obsession with perfection. Because, let’s face it: we all have moments when we’re neither the whitest shorts in the basket nor the sharpest knife at the crime scene. A tiny example: let’s say that … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged funny, perfection, writing, zany
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Redskins name change solution (win-win)
One year ago, with great humbility, this blog proposed a sober and rational answer to the heated question: should the Washington Redskins change their name? It seems apt to restate that plan before someone else steals the idea and wins … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged football, humor, Redskins, satire, zany
5 Comments
Monetize this
In the old days, the really old days when men were men and Tyrannosaurus Rex ate them like jelly beans, they had no credit cards. They had no money at all, not even pocket change. They didn’t even have pockets. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged belly buttons, blogging, monetize, zany
2 Comments
F.A.Q. How to sell your personal papers
Q. I see where Tom Wolfe sold his papers to the New York Public Library. I have a stack of old papers for lining the bottom of the bird cage. I haven’t needed them since my parrot ran off with … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged Conan, F.A.Q., parrot, satire, Tom Wolfe, zany
3 Comments
Haiku, haiku very much
Just thinking. What if poets wrote technical instruction manuals? Take your basic lawn mower foruhzample: Operating instructions for your Haiku 575® Lawn Mowing Machine How to assemble And use with minimal pain Your happy doodad Honored grass cutter, Open manual … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The N.S.A.
Q. What does N.A.S.A stand for? A. It’s N.S.A. You’re thinking of astronauts. Q. How do you know what I’m thinking? A. Well, ironically, that’s what the NSA is all about. Q. So what is the NSA? Why is it … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged F.A.Q., funny, humor, satire
7 Comments