Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
I, Stinkbug
This morning I discovered a tiny manuscript on the windowsill behind the draperies in our master bedroom. Beside it, the rigid body of a stinkbug. By Maryland law, all unattended deaths of stinkbugs must be reported to the police and … Continue reading
As they say in France…
Dear God Hey, it’s Bob. No, not that Bob. No. Not him either. Come on, it’s me. Big Bob. Ring a bell? So hey, howzit goin? Keeping the beard, I see. Can I be frank? No, not that Frank. I … Continue reading
A stratagem for threats to your freedom
You know how you sit there on the edge of the bed in the morning, half awake, pulling on a pair of socks from a laundry basket full of clean clothes? And a voice says, hey, someone should put all … Continue reading
Blurping at the brink
Years ago when the nest emptied, K-Mac and I worked out an equal distribution of duties in the household. She would cook, clean, do the laundry, sheer the sheep, tan the hides, pull all teeth, change all tires and keep … Continue reading
Posted in News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy, Uncategorized
Tagged humor, satire
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Tattoos and sweetie pies
So, we’re driving along, going somewhere or coming back from somewhere, when apropos of nothing, K-Mac says “How come you never got a tattoo?” Wow. After 45 years of marriage, you sort of take for granted that you know everything … Continue reading
Baseball as a second language
K-Mac, the goodwife formerly known as Katherine, has been speaking baseball now for two years. Although not her native tongue, she already grasps concepts that “fluent” baseball speakers find tongue-twisting. The infield fly rule, for instance: Fewer than two outs; … Continue reading
a hint of light 