Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
The news from Binghamton, 1968
A black morning. Early. Very way too. Black. Muggy. Rainy. Early. Early. Day two of 26-year career. The newspaperman gig. Already looking hard. Very way too. Muted Hi to some Notre Dame guy doing the early morning cops rounds for … Continue reading
The caveman diet: eat a caveman.
Consider the following construct: If you eat like a normal person, you are normal. If you eat like an idiot, then you’re an idiot. But if you eat like a caveman, you’re not a caveman. What the fongool? Let me … Continue reading
Yah sure, you betcha
Too-much-information alert: This morning, Polar-Vortexed to distraction, I weakened and dug out the long underwear. Haven’t felt so longjohn cold since that day ten years ago in Grand Forks, North Dakota. How cold was it? Plastic surgeons were doing reconstructive … Continue reading
Haiku daydreaming
Wise man who cannot outwit the witless becomes witless and unwise Beauty found in eye of beholder, yes, but note: eye must be open To find who you are consult your heart, soul and mind don’t forget to tweet. Tree … Continue reading
Blow that bozo away
Why do we say “It’s snowing like a bastard?” What does a bastard have to do with snow? Better question: how does a bastard snow? Let me count the ways. For my exhaustive research turned up a letter written years … Continue reading
Never say worm to a horse
Every day while driving to a job site at which my services are no longer required, I passed half a dozen horse farms. I was perplexed by the sight of some horses out there in the chill morning wearing blankets … Continue reading
One little beer
Today’s meditation addresses one of the most common complaints of those who commonly complain about addresses. To wit “There are so many ways to go wrong.” And, of course, its corollary “But why? Surely one or two ways would be … Continue reading
a hint of light 