Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
Ta Da! You’re back!
Have you ever stood on your front porch of an evening after a trying life and wondered about existence? In other words, have you ever wondered if you really exist or if you exist only in somebody else’s dream? Or … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, burrito, existence, humor, incognito, satire, shit hole, zany
6 Comments
F.A.Q. The Fruitcake Incident
Q. How do I get to my grandmother’s house? A. Go over the river and through the woods. Q. Which one? I always get my rivers mixed up. A. Don’t worry. The horse knows the way. Q. What horse? A. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., horses, rhinocerous, Santa, satire, silver bells, zany
3 Comments
If you know what I mean
K-Mac bought a wrought iron clock with those old-fashioned, black serpentine hour and minute hands for our family room. I think it’s important to note up front that I, the man in the relationship, was not consulted. It is a … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, fradderack, funny, interruptus, irony, K-Mac, satire, wrought iron, zany
4 Comments
My beautiful head
In the summertime (i.e. summertime, summertime, sum sum summertime), your trendier fake news publications often wheel out their squeaky cart of dust-covered free books sent by desperate, dust-covered fake publishers in hopes of making somebody’s — anybody’s — list of … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, satire, zany
3 Comments
Caught up in the tines
Every day I drill deep into the world-wide web dot (www.) trying to fathom man’s aversion to sucking it up without whining whenever he stubs his sore toe or his sorrier life. Too often I find evidence of men not … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, beer nuts, irony, moo, satire, ukulele, zany
2 Comments
Out the wazoo
I think it’s time we confront the truth. We know very little about flounder. Yeah, yeah, there are flounder experts among us (you know who you are) (obviously) who know tons of flounder stuff. Like your flounder catchers (not to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, blowhole, existence, flounder, humor, satire, zany
3 Comments
Four guys with Uzis
Q. Hello. Ray, here, at Paranoia Check where we say to the unzipped, the unglued, the madly awry, your crackers, your nuts, your bananas deep-fried: “If you see something, say something.” And remember: the If is always optional. A. Hello. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, exactamundo, funny, paranoia, satire, whack job, zany
2 Comments
a hint of light 