Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
Out of the suds
If you’re in a bar long enough, minding your own boozness, some guy inevitably sits down next to you and asks what you do for a living. If you say refrigerator repair, the guy says something like “I tried that … Continue reading
The news from Binghamton, 1968
A black morning. Early. Very way too. Black. Muggy. Rainy. Early. Early. Day two of 26-year career. The newspaperman gig. Already looking hard. Very way too. Muted Hi to some Notre Dame guy doing the early morning cops rounds for … Continue reading
The caveman diet: eat a caveman.
Consider the following construct: If you eat like a normal person, you are normal. If you eat like an idiot, then you’re an idiot. But if you eat like a caveman, you’re not a caveman. What the fongool? Let me … Continue reading
Yah sure, you betcha
Too-much-information alert: This morning, Polar-Vortexed to distraction, I weakened and dug out the long underwear. Haven’t felt so longjohn cold since that day ten years ago in Grand Forks, North Dakota. How cold was it? Plastic surgeons were doing reconstructive … Continue reading
Haiku daydreaming
Wise man who cannot outwit the witless becomes witless and unwise Beauty found in eye of beholder, yes, but note: eye must be open To find who you are consult your heart, soul and mind don’t forget to tweet. Tree … Continue reading
Fat bees buzzing
Outside my basement window stands a bush, its cold, gnarly branches covered with thick, wet snow. A bright red cardinal—not the kind that can become pope—perches on a branch, staring at me. I’m staring back. Like most staring contests, this … Continue reading
Around the bend
The good bad boy does his best with the random meatballs that fate rolls off the plates of good times onto life’s white carpet of stain ability. His career numbers for calmly reacting to life’s little drone strikes hover at … Continue reading
a hint of light 