Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
The smell of anarchy
I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Just me, hot water, a bar of soap and a wandering mind. (By the way, when you tell someone you took a shower and you receive a standing ovation is … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anarchy, humor, marimba, millenial, pouf, satire, zany
1 Comment
It helps if your name isn’t Bob
There are two big things out there now. One of them is the constant need to assure everyone around you that you get it — usually when there are important things to be gotten and the reputation of your getfullness … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, biodegradable, humor, llama, satire, sex, Tropic of Capricorn, zany
3 Comments
Hating that
I would like to address all of the “that” haters in our land. Does that mean you? That depends. Take this little test: when you read the that in that first sentence above, did your head spin around on your … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, fut, humor, MAOIs, satire, Timbuktu, umbrage, zany
6 Comments
Ta Da! You’re back!
Have you ever stood on your front porch of an evening after a trying life and wondered about existence? In other words, have you ever wondered if you really exist or if you exist only in somebody else’s dream? Or … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, burrito, existence, humor, incognito, satire, shit hole, zany
6 Comments
Out the wazoo
I think it’s time we confront the truth. We know very little about flounder. Yeah, yeah, there are flounder experts among us (you know who you are) (obviously) who know tons of flounder stuff. Like your flounder catchers (not to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, blowhole, existence, flounder, humor, satire, zany
3 Comments
On the couch
The other night while watching baseball on the Smart TV, we saw the $80 million pitcher for the visiting team struggling. His cut fastball kept bleeding out; his hairball showed scarcely a follicle; and his trademark sleazeball danced into the … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, balls, hemorrhoids, humor, K-Mac, meatball, satire, zany
2 Comments
Full disclosure
Are you a denier? If you’re not a denier and someone says you’re a denier and you deny it, does your lobotomy scar start to throb? Is it possible you’re in denial? Is it even possible you’ve misspelled your way … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bears, gluten, humor, idiot, satire, X-files, zany
4 Comments
a hint of light 