Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: satire
Blown dead
Who can deny that we live in an age of gizmotic marvels? You sir? (Security, table three, guy in the chicken suit). The cell phone, the computer, the internet, the cloud, the penile implant, the driverless car, the waterless state, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged funny, leafblower, satire, zany
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Tweetholes
Sigh. Almost daily some celebrity tweets something reprehensible and the media jumps on it like Mr. Hippo on a mudpie. Typically, the celeb botches the mandatory faux apology, tarnishing the silver tea service of his reputation and punching up a full … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, satire, tacos, The Carpenter, tweetholes, zany
1 Comment
Rump roast
I am often stopped on the street by people of a certain age who ask “Please, do you have any spare tires? If not, could you at least explain what is a meme?” Talk about your teachable moments. I am … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged asshat, funny, Plato, rump, satire, zany
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A matter of fact
Three facts walk into a bar. One is Cold-Hard Fact, a completely ripped body builder with six-pack abs and a light sheen of Mazola oil. The second is Political Fact, wearing a completely ripped-off shark skin suit with a fin … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, facts, Florsheims, satire, zany
1 Comment
Probing the proboscis
Somewhere out there, the dreaded sirens of “They” are “calling for” flurries. You can almost hear their sing-song “Flurries! Oh flurries! Where are you, flurries?” The skies are somber, the clouds cheeky and contemptuous, the panic of the people palpable, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, edamame, funny, Peter Piper, satire, zany
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Before I bite your neck
We use clichés everyday, usually without any idea of where or how a certain phrase originated. We blissfully claim to have had “More fun than a barrel of monkeys.” We warn “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” We … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, nudist, rutabaga, satire, zany, Zarathustra.
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Press this
Please listen carefully as some of our prompts have recently changed. No they haven’t. They’re the same old prompts you always have. Au contraire, mon bozon. These are brand new prompts, fresh from the oven. Try me. These prompts are … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged funny, Nostradamus, prompts, satire, zany
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a hint of light 