Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: satire
Blurping at the brink
Years ago when the nest emptied, K-Mac and I worked out an equal distribution of duties in the household. She would cook, clean, do the laundry, sheer the sheep, tan the hides, pull all teeth, change all tires and keep … Continue reading
Posted in News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy, Uncategorized
Tagged humor, satire
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Tattoos and sweetie pies
So, we’re driving along, going somewhere or coming back from somewhere, when apropos of nothing, K-Mac says “How come you never got a tattoo?” Wow. After 45 years of marriage, you sort of take for granted that you know everything … Continue reading
Baseball as a second language
K-Mac, the goodwife formerly known as Katherine, has been speaking baseball now for two years. Although not her native tongue, she already grasps concepts that “fluent” baseball speakers find tongue-twisting. The infield fly rule, for instance: Fewer than two outs; … Continue reading
Tickling the grizzly. Briefly. Very briefly.
How long should a story be? Did someone say “Just long enough?” Well, maybe in the old days, when attention spans were measured in furlongs. But somewhere along the space-time continuum, our attention spans shrunk down to the length of … Continue reading
FAQ: Limbo
Q. What is limbo? A. Limbo is a state where the recently gone go when the lines at heaven, hell and purgatory are backed up more than a mile. Think of it as spiritual overflow parking. Q. So which state … Continue reading
A mind is a terrible thing
The Pepperoncini Sessions SESSION ONE Patient X: Doc, I’m afraid I’m losing my mind. Dr. Pepperoncini: Fear is a common symptom of many phobias. The good news is that you don’t need to fear losing your mind. You’ve already lost … Continue reading
The six telltale signs of a whiner
Are you at the end of your rope because your mewling loved one causes such mental burping that you consider putting your head in the microwave oven on the burnt popcorn setting? But you don’t because you can’t close the … Continue reading
a hint of light 