Frequently Asked Questions about that

Q. What’s up with that?
A. Which that is that?

Q. That that.
A. Excuse me, it almost sounded like you said that that.

Q. Yes, I said that.
A. You mean that that.

Q. I mean that that what?
A. That is a good question.

Q. Thanks. I thought that up all by myself.
A. That is not hard to believe.

Q. Look, am I getting the run around?
A. That depends.

Q. Okay, what does that depend on?
A. That remains to be seen.

Q. So where can I see it?
A. It or that? If it’s it, then you’ve come to the wrong place.

Q. Look, I want to see that.
A. I’ll see to it.

Q. You mean that.
A. That what?

Q. You’ll see to it that I see that.
A. I don’t see how.

Q. Nor do I. But you do see that?
A. That is hard to say.

Q. Come on, it’s easy to say that. Go on, say it.
A. It may be easy to say, but I don’t know about that.

Q. I thought you knew about that. Isn’t this an FAQ about that?
A. That is correct.

Q. Then tell me, what’s the deal with that?
A. I don’t deal with that.

Q. You just said that I was correct.
A. That is correct.

Q. Then why can’t you deal…
A. It’s not a question I get very frequently.

Q. It isn’t?
A. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. I’m not the it guy. I thought I told you that.

Q. Okay, let me be more clear. What is that?
A. What is that?

Q. That has to be one of your most frequently asked questions. Am I right about that?
A. That it is and that you are.

Q. That I am what?
A. You’re right about that.

Q. How can I be right about that. I don’t even know what that is.
A. You see, that is a problem.

Q. No, I don’t see that.
A. That is becoming clear.

Q. That sounds like an insult.
A. I wouldn’t say that.

Q. Maybe not, but I would. And I did. What do you think about that?
A. I try not to think about that too much.

Q. What else could you possibly think about here at the “that” FAQ desk?
A. Oh, this, that and the other thing.

Q. What other thing?
A. That other thing.

Q. So that is a thing. At last we’re getting somewhere.
A. No, only the other thing is a thing. This is this and that is that.

Q. And that’s it?
A. I keep telling you, that’s not it. That’s that.

Q. Well, this has been very unhelpful.
A. That is so typical of this.

Q. This is madness.
A. That is the first intelligent thing you’ve said.

Q. That is a lot of crap.
A. And that is number two.

©Patrick A. McGuire and A Hint of Light 2013-2014, all rights reserved.

This entry was posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Frequently Asked Questions about that

  1. EdG says:

    Somewhere Abbott and Costello are smiling!


  2. tenderlytina says:

    And so that’s that?


  3. Love this! I wrote a post about how to talk “young” these days – – The word,”That” was featured quite a bit in the phrases….i.e.

    “Is that really a thing?”
    “Of course that’s a thing!”


    • PMcG says:

      Little Miss M:
      Read your young talking post. That really is a funny thing. Also has helped me young up my own talk, by cracky. When I was young, nobody said things were cool. Mostly because they weren’t. Instead we were encouraged to say “That’s nice,” even when that wasn’t close to nice. Also, when you didn’t believe what someone said, you didn’t say bullshit, because that word was a class III felony. So we said “My eye!” After saying that a few times, nobody ever messed with you. Which was nice.


      • “My eye” – – I do remember that! (Are we a similar age?) I used to think this was said mainly by optometrist wannabes. Then there was also, “My foot!” So you always knew when a podiatrist was calling BS. 😉 Anyhow, Thank you for reading my post. Although, I purposely didn’t put the link here (didn’t want to be that obnoxious reader WP admonishes!) so I have no idea how you dug it up?
        ps. I did tell you I revere your humor the first time I found you, right? Didn’t want to be redundant.


      • PMcG says:

        Go ahead, be redundant. Especially about reveration.


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