Author Archives: PMcG

Elephant check

I was in the counting house, counting all my money. Okay, our money. K-Mac sat counting the ways I needed to improve if I expected her to hang around for another 50 years. She suggested I stop fantasizing all the … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Dogs I Have Known | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Nightmare traffic

Unidentified Patient (Not me): Does any of this make sense? Dr.Pepperoncini: I could ask “Any of what?” and you could blather on and while you’re blathering I could be thinking about what ruined my chances of becoming  a sturgeon and … Continue reading

Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Uh oh, fake Haiku

Saturday, a day for fixing, or feeling guilt for fixing nada. A day to repair the broken strings of harmo dang, I whacked my ny. Mow the lawn, rake leaves, Vacuum downstairs then the up. Say goodbye to nap. Out … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The biggest idiot

A History of Social Norms, by Edna St. Vitus-Dance. Barns & Silo, $29.95 (Big Chief tablet-paper edition, with-visible-flecks-of-wood-and-lumberjack) The Abandonment of Social Norms by Logan Bologna. Tinker, Evers & Chance, $6.43 Bite Me, Norm by Kirk Tiberius James. Julius Manboob … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Out goes the bad air (Encore)

Dearest reader (but I digress), If I may be frank, I would much rather you call me Ishmael. The point is, after being promulgated last week, the post “Out goes the bad air” suddenly disappeared from my official record. Pffffft, … Continue reading

Posted in Mockery and derision | 3 Comments

How I got to Perth Amboy

Q. I’ve just started writing a really cool story, but I’ve hit a speed bump. In my excitement, I forgot to come up with an idea. Where do you get story ideas? A. By “you” do you mean me? Or … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The smell of anarchy

I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Just me, hot water, a bar of soap and a wandering mind. (By the way, when you tell someone you took a shower and you receive a standing ovation is … Continue reading

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment