Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Author Archives: PMcG
Haiku, yuku, wi all kuku
A poem dashed off in pajamas will not wait for a coat and tie. News breaks the promise that the beast of tomorrow won’t growl before dawn. Immortality begins with such simple words: ‘Once upon a time.’ The mind, not … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Grant's tomb, Haiku, humor, immortality, satire, story, wisdom
7 Comments
Balenciaga’s pizza
I have a question. Two actually. I’m allowed two because, in self-actualizing my full potential as master of my organism’s motive, I am saying what the hell, I get to ask two questions and you don’t. My first question, quite … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Balenciaga, farouk, fox trot, humor, self-actualization, wisdom
3 Comments
FAQ: Mental Health
Q. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with mental health. Is it contagious? A. You tell me. Recently, scientists put laboratory mice with mental health into a cage with mice who were crazy about bluegrass. After an hour, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, knucklehead, mental health, parody, satire, zany
10 Comments
Frequently Asked Questions: The schneid
Editor’s note: In the previous post “Those who are on the schneid,” I grievously presumed the term “schneid” was commonly understood among those who commonly understand things. For those who commonly misunderstand the commonly understood I offer this F.A.Q. Memorize … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, parody, satire, schneid, zany
6 Comments
Those who are on the schneid
It has been my experience that there are two kinds of people in this world: • Those who use their turn signal and those who don’t have to because their mother said so. • Those who believe in God and … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, buffalo, funny, humor, parody, satire, schneid, zany
17 Comments
The giant in the green hat
I’m standing on a corner, wondering why I’m not inside where the rain isn’t so bad. A half-drenched guy comes up to me and says “You heard about this Hadron Collider thing they got going over there in France?” If … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged dreams, funny, Hadron, satire, science, zany
2 Comments
a hint of light 