Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: Absurd and/or zany
Frequently Asked Questions about that
Q. What’s up with that? A. Which that is that? Q. That that. A. Excuse me, it almost sounded like you said that that. Q. Yes, I said that. A. You mean that that. Q. I mean that that what? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., funny, parody, That, zany
10 Comments
Up the Yingo
Studying proverbs of dead wise men won’t make you wise. Fact: Chinese proverb* writers never studied. They just said the first thing that came to mind. Wisers like Confucius or Sun Tzu or Laozi would look at a bleeding corpse … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, proverbs, satire, wisdom
2 Comments
The trousers of regret
I feel the need to talk about pants. When speaking of pants, one might talk about the color, the material or the zipper. One might even fall into a discussion about when it’s vital to wear pants, or when it’s … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, Latin, pants, Spanish Inquisition, zany
6 Comments
It takes a worried (i.e., certifiable) man
As I sit on the sun-warmed dock at this vacation lake deep in the North Woods to the north, I struggle with mixed feelings: In a way, I feel as cool as yesterday’s gazpacho, as mellow as wet cement, as … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany
Tagged absurd, anxiety, funny, K-Mac, North Woods, satire, St. Krakatonius, zany
1 Comment
Exciting news: my speaking fee reduced $25k
Please pass this news along to your alleged friends, your imaginary buddies in high places and all those blowhard relatives who say they know somebody who knows somebody who could maybe get you a backstage pass to the next Air … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, parody, satire, zany
74 Comments
The story in your shorts
It’s been some time since it was okay to write a short story that contained an actual story. Funny how naïve we once were, hanging on every word in a story, wondering what would happen to the cool characters and … Continue reading
Quick idiot check (slow idiots also welcome)
Often you hear the phrase “Stop acting like an idiot,” or “You sound like an idiot,” or “You look like an idiot.” If you’re not an idiot then these phrases serve as friendly warning signs that you may be drifting … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, funny, humor, idiot, moron, zany
1 Comment
a hint of light 