Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: F.A.Q.
Warning: Squint your eyes
F.A.Q. Irony(ish) Q. What is the difference between ironic and ironical? A. The letters A-L, which is AL. Q. Wouldn’t that be “who” is AL, since AL is a person, not a thing and therefore deserving of a personal pronoun? … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, Jimmy Eat World, salami, satire, torpedo
4 Comments
Hundo P
Q. Is that even a thing? A. Which that are you talking about? Q. That thing right there. I mean, if it is a thing. A. Okay, first thing you need to know about things: you have to distinguish between … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, alternative truth, funny, hokey pokey, Hundo P, sarcasm, satire, thang
3 Comments
The inner chatter
Q. I can’t fall asleep at night. What’s up with that? A. Maybe you’re overtired. Q. What the hell does that mean? A. Sounds like Mr. Grumpy is overtired. Q. How can I be overtired and not be able to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), Scribe v. Pharisees
Tagged absurd, anxiety, 睡觉的人, funny, Planet Nine, satire, Tu t'es moqué de moi, zany
6 Comments
How I got to Perth Amboy
Q. I’ve just started writing a really cool story, but I’ve hit a speed bump. In my excitement, I forgot to come up with an idea. Where do you get story ideas? A. By “you” do you mean me? Or … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, bear brains, boppers, F.A.Q., funny, Milk Duds, satire, zany
5 Comments
It will heal before your wedding
Q. Sometimes people call those who disagree with them communists. But then you’ll hear them calling the same people fascists. Can people be both communist and fascist? A. Not if they hope to attend their respective balls. Q. Don’t the … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
2 Comments
Just some guy in the stands
Q. I’m hearing a lot of talk about duality and dualism. I get that dualism is when you have a sword fight at dawn. But what is duality? A. You’re getting the term, duel confused with the term, dual. They … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, Cherry Garcia, duality, satire, Yoda, zany
4 Comments
FAQ: Worried Man Blues
Q. Should I be worried? A. Yes. Q. Wow, I thought you’d say no. A. No. Q. Yes, I did. And then you said no. Just now. A. Yes. Q. So wait…you’re not saying there’s nothing to worry about? A. … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, doughnut, Munchinhouse, pants on fire, satire, worried, zany
3 Comments
