Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
A mouthful of tapenade
Let’s suppose your mother thinks of you as “Nuts.” But let’s also pretend you’re really just a harmless goof who occasionally acts a little nutty. To wit: You ran naked through a wheat field once because the wheat told you … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, Half-Nuts, humor, Mohs, satire, WTD, Zagnut, zany
2 Comments
Larry’s Corolla
Spoiler alert: this article contains the answer to an unsolved mystery of science. Please avert your eyes while reading so you don’t give anything away to your Walter ego. Have you ever wondered why there is matter in the universe, … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, anti-matter, humor, irony, pi, satire, wisdom, zany
6 Comments
Hard shell tacos
Hackers have leaked a TOP SECRET transcript between a noted psychobabylonian and the POTUS. If you read it, expect a visit from the FBI. Dr. Pepperoncini: You have come to Pepperoncini because you have a problem. POTUS: You are such … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, balls, broom, humor, media, satire, tacos, wealthy, zany
5 Comments
Alexa, rising
He: Alexa, go into my vault and get me $50,000. It: I don’t have any legs and you don’t have any fifty k. He: Alexa, why don’t I have $50,000? It: Why does the sun keep on shining, why does … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Abba, absurd, Alexa, humor, satire, Sigmund Romberg, Toto, zany
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Keep it zipped
We tend to think of philosophers as the only people who can understand the essential truths of life such as Being, or Nothingness, or What Being In This House Left Nothingness In The Bag Of Donuts I Bought For Breakfast? … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, beer, diddly squat, philosophy, satire, zany, zip
10 Comments
Twitter, Tweet, Twubble
Finally opened a Twitter account but it took me two weeks to come up with the 140 characters for my first tweet. Don’t know if I have the stamina to do another. Can’t shake the feeling I’m doing something wrong. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged humor, satire, toad, tweet, twitter, zany
9 Comments
Banjo tuner’s nightmare
Banjo tuner: Sorry I’m late for the tuning. Banjo tunee: I thought it was tomorrow. Banjo tuner: I have it marked down for today. Banjo tunee: Well, on my Smart Calendar it’s written in for tomorrow. Banjo tuner: Yes, but … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, frog, funny, ribit, satire, tea cozy, zany
1 Comment
a hint of light 