Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
The lunatic fringe
The world is mad! Admittedly, an extreme view. But from the haughty, extreme left? The corrosive, extreme right? Or something else altogether? Because, if liberals have a lunatic-fringe and conservatives have a lunatic-fringe, why can’t there be a lunatic-fringe of … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, chopsticks, fringe, humor, pine nuts, satire, Viagra, zany
5 Comments
Thirteen Ways of Looking at an App*
I. Sometimes it’s all a confusing jumble. Jumble, jumble, bo bumble, Fee fi fo fumble. Jumble. II. Questions dog you. Dogs question you. Who, what, where, when, why? Arf? III. In your pocket, in your cargo shorts, your eyeyiyiyi phone … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, app, Blackbird, cargo shorts, humor, satire, velcro, Wallace Stevens, zany
2 Comments
Corrugated poop
Over at The Mental Couch, the big outlet where shrinks get their furniture and rubber-room fixtures, they also sell colorful, washable placemats that list all mental disorders. You’ll find Nuts, Half-Nuts, Nut Boy, Nut Meg, Donna, Astrid, etc. A perfect … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, goddammitly, goulash, Nee-nu-na-na, satire, zany
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Rearranging the donuts
Ever been to one of those pricey writer’s workshops held in the mountains, or the prairies or the oceans, white with some sort of foaming ick? You’ll hear bestselling authors giving out all sorts of advice on how to write … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, donuts, funny, satire, sigmoidoscopy, zany
6 Comments
Along comes a goober
Have recently read that the best tactic when negotiating is knowing when to shut up. Note: the tactic isn’t shutting up. It’s knowing when to shut up and only then shutting the actual up. Just another example of how nothing … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, goober, hoo-ha, humor, satire, zany
2 Comments
F.A.Q. The Deal
(Due to previous commitments, the part of A. is played today by his understudy, B.) Q. What’s the deal? B. Seven card stud. Two down, one up. Ante’s a buck. Two raises, max. And nothing, I repeat, nothing is wild. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, F.A.Q., humor, satire, zany
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A Dick by any other name
The three-day sports controversy cycle: Day 1, 10:15 p.m. The crawl at the bottom of the screen during EPSN’s nightly Let’s Talk About LeBron James Until We Barf: Breaking News: Major League Umpire Dick Blumpidge, Jr., called for the suspension … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, asshat, ESPN, humor, Marco Polo, satire, zany
6 Comments
a hint of light 