Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Category Archives: News You Can Use (Sort of)
You know what?
You know what makes me laugh? Looking out at the rain when the Weather Channel app for my Smart Ass™ phone says the chances for rain right now are zero. In other words, no chance. Like the odds of swimming … Continue reading
The Grumpy Incident
He says “Hey, listen to this.” In another room, in another realm, his sweetie says naught. She’s used to his random public address system blurtations of dubious merit. Hence the wall between them. She, on the sofa, playing “Words With … Continue reading
Seven Warning Signs That You May Be Dead
More and more companies these days are pressured by shareholders to cut staff. The result is that Big Bosses at hundreds of companies have been delivering a “Get Rid of the Deadwood,” speech. In the old days deadwood was a … Continue reading
Absurdly Existential Standup
Welcome to our new feature, Interviews With Famous Dead People You Probably Never Heard Of But Would Have If You’d Only Paid Attention In School Instead Of Screwing Around And Becoming A Bitter Disappointment To Your Parents Who Did The … Continue reading
Gooood Morrrrrning Asia Minor!
St. Paul, here Rather than scribbling out a new e-pistle to the Corindians or the Galoshes, I thought I’d open up the old mailbag and get some epistle feedback. Dear Paul Your letter came postage due. What, they don’t sell … Continue reading
Posted in News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged e-pistle, humor, parody, satire, St. Paul
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Foreplay and the presumption of duringplay
K-Mac* walks into the room and says to me “I…” Though brainstorming a foolproof plan for replacing money with macaroni, I magnanimously put a bookmark in my thoughts. I wait. Seemingly, days go by but in reality it’s more like … Continue reading
FAQ: Idioms
Q. What is an idiom? A. An idiom is a meeting place for idiots. Not to be confused with idiocy, which is a municipality full of idioms. Think Los Angeles. Q. That’s insulting to Los Angeles. A. Do you live … Continue reading
a hint of light 