Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: absurd
Smelling the end zone
Baseball season has ended with a melancholy whiff, and football season is upon us like a grand piano falling eight floors onto a poodle. Let’s see that again Bob. Ooh. That’s gonna leave a stain. Let’s see that again, Bob… … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, balls, baseball, end zone, football, funny, satire, zany
2 Comments
Frequently Asked Questions: Butt dialing
Q. You keep talking about butt dialing. What does that mean? A. Sometimes when you sit down with your smart phone in your back pocket, the weight of your butt pressing against your key pad inadvertently activates a phone number. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, bongo drums, butt dialing, funny, humor, satire
1 Comment
Naked Trojans
Somewhere between Pittsburgh and Columbus, K-Mac looked out the window and said “Is that a dead armadillo?” My reply: “I don’t think they have armadillos in Pennsylvania.” “Maybe it wasn’t an armadillo,” she said. “Or,” I theorized, “maybe they only … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, armadillo, mortimerism, mrglph, Nudnik, satire, Socmeister, zany
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Questions that bother me so.*
So. Here’s a question. So, why do so many people, from age zero, up to but not including age geezer, begin every comment, every question, every answer to every question with the word so? So. See? So. No seeum. So. … Continue reading
Thinking with your beak
Although debate over same sex marriage has temporarily cooled, a new assault on the I-do-I-do tradition has been sucked into the 24-hour news cycle. I speak of the controversial and very delicate some sex marriage movement. Champions of the movement, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged absurd, bulges, Funkland, funny, humor, neenu nana, Plato, satire, some sex marriage
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Sweating like a pig
Note: This post may be monitored by government agents (travel) for training purposes. Note: In the interests of transparency, transgenderparency and Saran Wrapency, the purpose of the above stated training is to make sure that the travel agents being trained … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, funny, grammar lady, guano, iguana, methane, satire
6 Comments
Random acts of eat-my-shorts
DO YOU SUPPOSE the Greeks might have done better in their bailout negotiations if they had been wearing ties? They just looked so informal and rascally in their suit jackets, their white business shirts and those open collars. Like Nicolas … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, baseball, funny, K-Mac, nudnicking, satire, toad, toenails
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a hint of light 