Tag Archives: funny

1955 green linoleum

Posted on March 3, 2015 by PMcG

The New York Times interviewed me for a feature on novelists who are unpublished because they aren’t tall. Or, in some cases, because they are too tall. I agreed on the off chance a publisher might see it and say … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Aunt Tilda is in the building

Posted on February 17, 2015 by PMcG

This friend of mine (not me) was out of deodorant. Little wavy lines of stinkbad radiated from his smelter zones. People moved away from him when he entered the room—much further and even faster than usual. Irresponsible news reports described … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Sign on White House fence

Posted on February 10, 2015 by PMcG

Attention IM-buh-sill Apparently the voices in your head have told you to climb over this fence to get into the White House so you can: a. use the throne b. check out the blue room to see if it’s really … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bilge water and bratwurst

Posted on January 23, 2015 by PMcG

ATTENTION READER: We have found below numerous words, phrases and ideas so offensive as to put the deeply constipated at risk for the spontaneous and painful delivery of a hippopotamus. We have therefore drawn a line through inappropriate verbiage, nounage, … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of) | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

After only two beers

Posted on January 16, 2015 by PMcG

One day about 40,000 years ago, just after homo-doofus took delivery of a new, sleeker forehead and a lifetime supply of some serious sapiens (Say SOPPY-ends), he heard a knock on his cave. It was the new guy from the … Continue reading →

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Frequently Asked Questions about T.M.I.

Posted on January 13, 2015 by PMcG

Q. What is T.M.I.? A. Can you be more specific? Q. T as in tee, M as in eminem, I as in eye. A. You mock me. Q. No. It’s just that people keep saying “Dude, that’s TMI.” What does … Continue reading →

Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The last surviving sausage

Posted on January 6, 2015 by PMcG

How many hours, how many days do you think you’ve spent staring blankly into the refrigerator, not sure exactly what you’re looking for but too starved, too lost at sea, too off your meds to know it aint in there? … Continue reading →

Posted in News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments