Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
Boom, boom, boom
Fell asleep last night with my iPod on and my earbuds in. Three thousand songs from the past thirty years crowded my brain and trampled all the grass on the hippocampus. When I woke up I began to speak in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, The human comedy
Tagged 50-amp fuse, absurd, dreams, funny, humor, medulla oblongata, rock and roll, satire, Victrola
2 Comments
Mistaken for Mr. Peanut
I think we all agree that a scary percentage of the 320 million people in the United States are what may charitably be called “one quack short of a duck.” Uncharitable bastards, however, still insist on labeling them “one duck … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged cylon, duck, funny, humor, Mr. Peanut, nutjob, quack, satire
6 Comments
A handful of panty hose
As I have noted publicly–while ambidextrously noting privately those who take no note of my noting—I am the honcho of the weekly grocery shopping. In that capacity I get the use of the Honda (sans le conductor backseato,) a black … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged Cart Woman, chocolateless, funny, humor, K-Mac, macaroons, satire
2 Comments
Shaking the sillies out
I held a press conference to announce my candidacy in 2016, but a lot of you weren’t there. Oh, yes, I noticed each and every one of you who didn’t show up, even after I sent all those engraved invitations. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision
Tagged absurd, CM Wangs, funny, humor, ick, prickly, satire, warter wickie
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Wake up and smell
Saw a movie the other night where Denzel Washington demanded kidnappers give him Proof of Life that the person he was trying to ransom was still alive. Still alive. Or as Monty Python would have it “Not quite dead yet.” … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged cremation, doobie, foo foo, funny, humor, satire
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Sign on White House fence
Attention IM-buh-sill Apparently the voices in your head have told you to climb over this fence to get into the White House so you can: a. use the throne b. check out the blue room to see if it’s really … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, farouk, funny, humor, satire, Secret Service, White House, zany
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My Mommy said not to put beans in my ears
Let’s say you have a headache caused by facing up to the folly of your life, vis a vis stubbornly clinging to the fantasy of getting rich, famous and relatively beloved by even non-relatives before deadness reduces you to a … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged commas, grammar, humor, idiots, satire, zany
8 Comments
a hint of light 