Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: humor
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 4
Out In Real Life Bought Coffee J. Dogg one of those new-age leash thingies, the ones with the spring-loaded cord coiled inside an industrial strength plastic housing—sometimes known as a handle. That a simple dog’s leash could evolve into something … Continue reading
F.A.Q. The Dishwasher
Q. Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? A. Dirty. I think. Q. Didn’t you run them last night? A. Me? Um I…don’t think so. Q. They look clean. A. Then they’re clean. Probably. Maybe. Q. Ooh, gross. … Continue reading
Fish story No. 2
The truth about fishing is this: no matter how much a fisher dude raves about the spiritual rejuvenation of being one with nature, in your typical 8-hour day of fishing on the lake that fisher dude doesn’t actually see that … Continue reading
Nuggets I picked up from my dog, No. 1
Where our souls meet The hound who walks me twice daily is a used dog. In fact, each of the previous dogs of my acquaintance over three-score years started out with someone else but by serendipity and a nose for … Continue reading
If it quacks like kryptonite…
Every now and then we’ll be out shopping for another 50 pound bag of fertilizer or attending a lecture on sustainable indifference to the neighbor’s wealth, when Katherine will say something like “Hold my bag for a second.” Yesterday it … Continue reading
Infrequently Asked Questions
If a guy named Charles Wood is called “Woodchuck” by his friends, how long before he gets it? When Johns Hopkins was a boy, did his friends call him Jacks? Why is f*rt a socially taboo word but you can … Continue reading
Posted in F.A.Q., News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged F.A.Q., humor, satire
4 Comments
Fish story No. 1
Our man is invited on an all-expenses paid fishing trip to the deepest reaches of northwestern Ontario. Exclusive lodge in the middle of nowhere, accessible only by float plane. Four star accommodations including maid service in actual buildings—no tents, no … Continue reading
a hint of light 