Patrick A. McGuire, Bloggonian
For years I told jokes on street corners for tips, dreaming of one day owning a granite counter top. No luck, so I entered a monastery. I now do stand-up at daily prayer services. The monks' vow of silence means they can't laugh. I can't even laugh, although sometimes I sob quietly in the can. This blog is a cry for help. Send money or granite. I accept Pay Pal.
Tag Archives: satire
Alexa, rising
He: Alexa, go into my vault and get me $50,000. It: I don’t have any legs and you don’t have any fifty k. He: Alexa, why don’t I have $50,000? It: Why does the sun keep on shining, why does … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged Abba, absurd, Alexa, humor, satire, Sigmund Romberg, Toto, zany
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Keep it zipped
We tend to think of philosophers as the only people who can understand the essential truths of life such as Being, or Nothingness, or What Being In This House Left Nothingness In The Bag Of Donuts I Bought For Breakfast? … Continue reading
Posted in Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged absurd, beer, diddly squat, philosophy, satire, zany, zip
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Twitter, Tweet, Twubble
Finally opened a Twitter account but it took me two weeks to come up with the 140 characters for my first tweet. Don’t know if I have the stamina to do another. Can’t shake the feeling I’m doing something wrong. … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of), The human comedy
Tagged humor, satire, toad, tweet, twitter, zany
9 Comments
Banjo tuner’s nightmare
Banjo tuner: Sorry I’m late for the tuning. Banjo tunee: I thought it was tomorrow. Banjo tuner: I have it marked down for today. Banjo tunee: Well, on my Smart Calendar it’s written in for tomorrow. Banjo tuner: Yes, but … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, anxiety, dreams, frog, funny, ribit, satire, tea cozy, zany
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Oh no
I was doing the dishes after supper — doing an outstanding job by the way — when K-Mac asked “Where did you learn to wash dishes?” “I’m self taught,” I replied, using a steak knife like an ice pick to … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, The human comedy
Tagged absurd, auto-didact, funny, Grant's tomb, Haiku, K-Mac, oh, satire, zany
3 Comments
Fake news blues
Having worked for decades as a newsman, I am distressed to find that news has been supplanted by fake news (in some states, supplanted beneath turnips.) Perhaps worse, people tend to believe fake news more than the non-fake (aka real) … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, ducks, fake news, newsman, satire, turnips, zany
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The crawfish pie guy
In the old days, a tough question at a job interview might be “How many murders have you committed?” Or “If we hire you, will you murder any of us? Specifically, um, me?” But today’s employers have gotten creative in … Continue reading
Posted in Absurd and/or zany, Mockery and derision, News You Can Use (Sort of)
Tagged absurd, everclear, humor, lima bean, penguin, satire, uffda, walleye, WTP, zany
2 Comments
a hint of light 