Tag Archives: satire

The duck commander

Posted on March 14, 2015 by PMcG

While waiting at a stop sign for further instructions, I started thinking about the presumptions made by the boys and girls down at the highway department. When they decide what goes on a highway sign they presume that we—the un-neutered, … Continue reading →

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1955 green linoleum

Posted on March 3, 2015 by PMcG

The New York Times interviewed me for a feature on novelists who are unpublished because they aren’t tall. Or, in some cases, because they are too tall. I agreed on the off chance a publisher might see it and say … Continue reading →

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Aunt Tilda is in the building

Posted on February 17, 2015 by PMcG

This friend of mine (not me) was out of deodorant. Little wavy lines of stinkbad radiated from his smelter zones. People moved away from him when he entered the room—much further and even faster than usual. Irresponsible news reports described … Continue reading →

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Sign on White House fence

Posted on February 10, 2015 by PMcG

Attention IM-buh-sill Apparently the voices in your head have told you to climb over this fence to get into the White House so you can: a. use the throne b. check out the blue room to see if it’s really … Continue reading →

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My Mommy said not to put beans in my ears

Posted on February 3, 2015 by PMcG

Let’s say you have a headache caused by facing up to the folly of your life, vis a vis stubbornly clinging to the fantasy of getting rich, famous and relatively beloved by even non-relatives before deadness reduces you to a … Continue reading →

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Bilge water and bratwurst

Posted on January 23, 2015 by PMcG

ATTENTION READER: We have found below numerous words, phrases and ideas so offensive as to put the deeply constipated at risk for the spontaneous and painful delivery of a hippopotamus. We have therefore drawn a line through inappropriate verbiage, nounage, … Continue reading →

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After only two beers

Posted on January 16, 2015 by PMcG

One day about 40,000 years ago, just after homo-doofus took delivery of a new, sleeker forehead and a lifetime supply of some serious sapiens (Say SOPPY-ends), he heard a knock on his cave. It was the new guy from the … Continue reading →

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